Homestuck truth or dare: just click it
by XblackcrimsonsunX
Summary: What happens when 8 kids, 12 twelve trolls and more are stuck on a rock in the void? They play truth or dare of course! And with a insane hostess and even more insane reviewers thing are bound to get interesting! So what does this all spell? Simple: comedy Rated T because well… look at the title Disclaimer: don't own homestuck or characters
1. The beginning!

**Hi everyone names crimson call me crim this is my first fanfic and I just thought hey! These truth or dares are fun why not Instead of secretly complaining that it takes too long for people to upload I feel their pain instead! I welcome criticism so if I'm not writing the characters personality right then tell me! Or something like that but please have mercy! I'm new at this but either way R&R people!…so now that I've stopped my rambling let the story begin**

**The scene starts outside where a big mansion is in view, with a porch and a pathway leading out of the house, you look around and to your surprise you see the house is on a decent sized grassy piece of earth but thats when you also notice the rock is simply floating in the air around black nothing, bored at the scenery you look down towards a mail box which rested at the end of the pathway to see a girl wearing a pale blue hoodie with the symbol that mysteriously looks like the Void printed on the centre, to match the hoodie you see her wearing black tights that end above her knees you think she looks very comfortable though unfortunately you fail to care to describe anything else about her since there's nothing else interesting to narrate about her, besides her big hazel eyes that caught your attention for a spilt second as she bent down before her hoodie shielded her face again, too preoccupied with checking the mail to notice that you have started narrating her she continues to reach for whatever's inside, that or the volume on her earphones are too loud for her to notice and this and irritates you quite a bit.**

**"Hey! Pay attention I'm narrating you! Do something interesting!" **

**She doesn't seem to hear you as she starts smiling widely when she appears to have successfully grab whatever she got and starts to walk back into the house. You decide to follow her since your not very comfortable being here by yourself in the dark, she reaches the door and looks up as if on cue…**

Girl: hmmm I guess my guests would like a bit of a less gloomy atmosphere

**The girl snaps her fingers and the black pit of nothing instantly changes to a clear blue sky with a bright sun and a neighbourhood around the house, it was as if she teleported the rock back to earth. You immediately know who the author is…besides me of course. **

Girl: I'll give them this at least

**The girl smiles somewhat evilly **

**She continues inside towards the living room where her blue laptop was charging on the couch, she grabs it and continues walking now walking with a small parcel in her hand what's in the parcel? **

**Hey! Hellloooo anybody in there? It's rude to ignore people well voices but same thing! **

**The girl goes into another room ignoring the question and you in general, and leans against a big machine which was slightly humming **

Girl: finally this took ages to arrive but it's worth it

**The girl takes off her earphones and practically rips the parcel apart and you eagerly check to see what's the fuss is about and it's…stickers…this girl got excited for stickers **

Girl: finally something to decorate this bare thing!

**The girl says eagerly and immediately starts to decorate the laptop with 8cue balls, some small black spiders and white webs covering the bare laptop completely **

Girl: haha so much better

**The girl smiles and connects the earphones to the laptop and starts playing Oh No! on YouTube once again distracting herself, you go back to the machine and you see coordinates and a specific time line on them, finding nothing else you turn and see the girl with the earphones still on so you wait a few seconds but quickly get bored so you decide to just push her into the big green button behind her, well more like you use your author powers and make her 'accidentally' lose balance resulting in her hand on the big green button which leads to a white flash and a lot of crashing noises and pained groans to follow **

Karkat: WHERE IN THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE WE?

Kanaya: if I knew I would provide an explanation

Jade: owwww my head *rubs head*

Terezi: h1 d4v333!

Dave:I'm guess your Terezi?

Kanaya: greetings Rose I am Kanaya

Rose: hello Kanaya

Vriska: hiiiiiiii john

John: Vriska?

**Everyone starts greeting and introducing themselves until karkat shouts**

Karkat: IF YOU NOOKSUCKERS CAN STOP FOR A FUCKING MINUTE I WOULD LIKE TO FIND OUT WHERE THE FUCK WE ARE!

John: hi karkat

Karkat: HELLO JOHN FUCKING EGDERP I'M CURRENTLY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE THE FUCK WE ARE SO I'M A BIT FUCKING BUSY!

Rose: who are you?

**Everyone turns around when Rose asks the girl standing there arms crossed against her laptop and looking slightly grumpy for some unknown reason**

Girl: you know exactly why I'm grumpy and since when were you here? I thought I made sure not to get a narrator

**I was here the whole time dumb ass you were just too preoccupied with your music and I will appear in any story I want and you can't stop me even with your author powers **

Tavros: UHHhh,,,does anyone else Um,, hear a voice coming from the uh,,ceiling?

Gamzee: nah tavbro I think everyone hears the miraculous voice honk :o)

Girl: ignore it

**Her**

Girl: who cares anyway I'm crimson but you can call me Crim and you all are going to participate in my game of truth or dare

**The girl or Crim says cheerfully **

Girl: seriously? Can't you just shut up?

**No**

**You hear the mumbles of confusion between the trolls **

Eridan: wwhat's truth or dare?

Rose: it's a human game where you ask personal questions or dare someone to do stupid things

Crim: correct but the reviewers are going to decide what to do to who hehehe

**Crim giggles evilly **

Feferi: sounds like fun glub 38D

Karkat: NO IT FUCKING DOESN'T SOUND LIKE FUN WE ARE FUCKING LEAVING

Crim: you can't really do that

Sollux: and why iis that?

**Crim leads everyone outside and begins to smile innocently it would be cute if it didn't scare everyone **

Crim: because of this

**Crim once again snaps her fingers and knowing what's going to happen so your not too surprised when everything returns to the black void that's surrounds everyone but that's you not them **

Jade: ahh! Where are we?!

Crim: the void if you didn't realise I'm the maid of void so uh unless you want to jump down and hope to see anything other than nothing ever again I wouldn't do it but that's up to you karkat

**Crim stares at the bewildered karkat and awaits for his answer**

Karkat: WELL UH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR!? DARE US ALREADY WE APPARENTLY AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE

**They go back inside **

Crim: you heard him people review! While we wait let's get you settled in pick your rooms upstairs and I'll see you later

**Crim starts walking to the living room clutching her laptop**

Vriska: heyyyyy are those 8cue balls and sp8ders on your h8vetop?

**Vriska looks at crim's laptop with curiosity **

Crim: ….um maybe

Terezi: h3y look s1d3rb1tch you h4v3 4 f4n

Vriska: shut up no one asked youuuuuuuu

**Crim ends this chapter by slipping away before things turned nasty which obviously it was but seriously please give me a chance! And dare people or truth whatever their both awesome! But on a serious note ((not really)) here are the rules **

** singing dares (sorry guys but I'll let you make them watch songs I don't mind that as a dare)**

**2. Keep it T rated please (don't corrupt this innocent girls mind)**

**3. Enjoy! **

**I'm waitingggg**


	2. First reviews

**Chapter 2**

**Edit: oh god I just realised that this chapter never posted and deleted it instead so here I go again please R&R people and thanks to everyone who posted ::::)**

**Outside a storm starts brewing with fat drops of rain blending with the air and lightning soon follows loud and deafening that would scare you and the guests if they weren't being terrified senseless inside by the authoress (who was most likely the cause of the storm outside) **

Crim: are you serious!?

**The hostess yells**

Crim: I tell you guys to do one thing! One!

Crim: and you destroy the top floor!

**Crim starts to grit her teeth to hold back her anger as her eyes travel back to the smoking stairs**

Kanaya: allow me to apologise for my teammates inappropriate behaviour

Crim: I swear Kanaya your the only responsible one in your team I'm so glad your my patron troll

Kanaya: why thank you Crim

Crim: anyway while the top floor is being repaired you all are stuck down here

**Crim goes and sits on the couch, puts her ear phones back on and starts going through her laptop **

Karkat: HEY YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A HOSTESS WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSE TO FUCKING DO

Jade: I'm hungry is there anything in the kitchen?

Jane: oh I'm sure I can whip up a cake for you I just need a recipe…

Nepeta: :33 *ac checks her pockets and says I'm missing my red chalk!*

Terezi: H3H3H3 :]

John: we're are all my Nic Cage movies?

Dave: dude seriously? Nice Cage is bad and not even an ironic bad

Vriska: heeeey! Nic Cage is great

**Soon enough chaos starts once again and history starts to repeat itself, although this time the Authoress doesn't bother looking up or stopping them, why? Because she can't hear anything of course those buds in her ears are completely blocking out the noise**

**you suddenly think you need a pair of those earphones then quickly dismiss that idea since you want to stop this, you really don't want to watch everyone play truth or dare in the rain. You need to watch your health too. You decide to just see how this plays out **

Crim: *sigh* well since I have free time I'll just check if any reviews came

Crim: Oh Yes! Finally something good is happening

Crim: hey guys we ha-

**Crim looks up from the screen to see for the second time her mansion being destroyed**

Crim: if you break one more thing in here I'll make you all sleep outside!

**They all stop immediately **

Crim: *cough* ahem anyway we have our first reviews and I'll like to play inside where its nice and dry then out in the freezing cold so can you not destroy this floor too?

Sollux: but can't you ju2t change the weather wiith your author power2 or 2omethiing

Crim: unfortunately the void or the 'weather' changes with my emotion

Crim: and as you can see I'm not in the best of moods so can you please stop breaking things!?

**They all nod **

Crim: thank you now I know you guys must be hungry or bored and missing things but they are all coming soon so please be patient and in the mean time lets start the truth and dares!

**Crim looks at the first review **

**musicalBlink**

**I dare karkat to sit in a bucket of skittles. Grab a handful of skittles from the bucket shove it in his mouth and without chewing and swallowing the skittles yell: I AM THE BUCKET KING. KNEEL BEFORE MY RAINBOW FILLED BUCKET AND YOU SHALL BE REWARDED. **

**Crim starts to smile widely **

Crim: okay now this will be fun

Crim: oh karkaaaaaaaat it seems the viewers have chosen you to torture first

Vriska: was that 8 a's?

Karkat: WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE DO THIS SHIT

Crim: because. Now come here so I can tell you the dare

**Crim whispers the dare to Karkat her smile still wide as she sees his eyes widen **

Karkat: NO FUCK THAT WHAT KIND OF SICK FUCKS WOULD DARE THAT. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT SORRY EXUSE FOR A THINKPAN

crim: it's a dare karkat get over it and do it

Karkat: I SAID NO FUCKASS

crim: fine but then you'll have to face today's punishment

Karkat: FINE THEN ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN DOING THIS SHIT

Crim: oh I'm sure you'll change your mind if you hear the punishment

Karkat: WELL IM FUCKING WAITING

crim: you have to a eat soper slime pie

Crim: so decide dare or pie

Karkat: …

Karkat: FINE ILL DO THE FUCKING DARE

**Hearing this Crim goes to the appearify room and appearify's a bucket full of skittles to the living room **

**Crim walks back just in time for a mysterious portal to appear out of nowhere and spits out the said bucket after delivering it quickly disappears into thin air **

**Trolls seeing the gift take a step back and Equius quickly steps in front of a blushing Nepeta, blocking her view **

Equius: D- why is there such a disgusting object In the room

Crim: because Karkat has to sit on it

Nepeta: :33 Eqkitty can you move now

Equius: D- I refuse to allow you to see such a 100d object

Crim: well if karkat does the dare quickly I can get rid of it

Karkat: FUCKING FINE

**Karkat hesitantly walks over to the bucket, grabs a handful of skittles and puts it in his mouth, sits down on the bucket and mumbles **

Karkat: MMPGgghmph

Rose: what?

Crim: it doesn't count if we can't understand you

Karkat: I-MPHH SAGHID I AMPH FE BUCKIT KING. KNEEFL BE-FOR MA RAINFBOW FIFLED BUCKIT ANPM YOU SHALL B-EE REWARPHMDED.

**Everyone stays quiet and stares at the blushing karkat, mouth full of skittles **

Dave: pfffft

**Dave loses his cool for a second making everyone laugh **

John: hahahahahahahaha

Jane: hoo hoo

Jade: haha you pfft you look like hehe a squirrel

Feferi: hehe w)(at's a haha squirr-el

Jake: oh it's a cute little creature who can stuff their food in their cheeks making them look like…

Dirk: him

Eridan: pfff hahahaha you look so pathetic oh glub hahaha

**Karkat spits out the skittles and yells **

Karkat: I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL

**he storms off **

Crim: with that done lets move on

**GoogleHeadOtaku**

** Beta k1ds: on a scale of 1 to 10, how awkward was 1t to m33t the alphas? Once you all actually had time to s1t down and talk that 1s. **

Crim: John, Dave, Jade and Rose this one's for you

Dave: we never once had time to actually sit down and talk so we can't really rate it

Crim: did you just read my laptop

Dave: maybe

Crim: well don't that's my job not yours go back

Dave: fine fine

**Crim rereads the truth to the kids **

Rose: well just as Dave said we never really sat down and 'talk' before since we were very focused on the game

Crim: sorry GoogleHeadOtaku they can't really rate it right now

Crim: I feel like a feelings jam is needed

Crim: gamzee!

**The hostess calls for the clown troll who was leaning on a horn pile in the corner **

**How no one realised this is a mystery **

Crim: gamzee can you make like a horn pile in the appearify room, in those two closets and in the kitchen?

Gamzee: SuRe mOtHeRfUcKiNg ThInG CrImSiS

Crim: thanks now you 8 to a horn pile!

**They all slowly walk to a room or closet pairings are dirk/Dave, Roxy/Rose Jane/John and Jake/Jade (I just realised how many J names there are) **

Crim: ok now for the final dare for today…

**B4s1l1ck **

**I dare everybody to play some…**

**Patapon(look it up)and see who can keep the beat perfect for the longest time, the winner gets to keep the actual four drums and all masks (permanently) to use, ultimate loser has to be the winner's servant until end of chapter **

Crim: we need everyone to come for this dare so can someone go get Karkat?

Terezi: 1LL GO

Crim: ok while that's happening I appearified some pjs for everyone so go put them on while I do a little research

Vriska: what are pj's?

Roxy: there *hic* like thish eallya comfi clothes you were to *hic* bed

Roxy: really* *wear

Vriska: oh

**They all go to the appearify room and you settle back to the couch and look up this Patapon game **

Crim: hmmm

**20 minutes pass until everybody comes back in and see Crim with her earphones back on and eyes close, head nodding slightly **

Tavros: mAYBE IF WE UHH,,,, BACK OUT QUIETLY UM,, MAYBE WE DONT HAVE TO DO THE UH,, DARE

Jade: good idea

**They all start backing out as quietly as possible and almost succeed until you use your 'viewers' power to tear the earphones off Crim surprising her **

Crim: hey!

**A dark aura starts surrounding Crim as she narrows her eyes in anger and she seems to start to change appearance until she sees the guests and turns to normal just as quickly appearing almost as an illusion **

Jake: did any of you lads see that?

John: what her hair instead of light brown changing black?

Feferi: or )(-er e-y-es turning bright green?

Jake: well glad to see my sockets aren't not playing with me

Rose: It must've been the trick of light

Crim: guys hurry up we have to finish this dare

Nepeta: *ac pushes her furrends towards the nice hostess and says guys she is furry nice*

**They all walk to the nice hostess with caution noticing that she changed her clothes to a black singlet with the grey void symbol and different shades of blue short shorts with little black spiders on them, Crim notices her guests caution but decides to ignore it **

Crim: while you guys were changing I check out our last dare and apparently we all have to play this game called Patapon luckily I managed to appearify all your laptops and hivetops to download the game

Crim: now the rules are in the game and one part of the dare is to see who can stay alive the longest

Tavros: aND THE UH,,, SECOND PART?

Crim: I'll tell you when we finish

**Crim starts to hand out everyone lap (and hive) tops all the while looking at a few of the pj designs you made **

**Dave is wearing a long fluffy red shirt with his symbol attached in the centre with black pants, jane is wearing a light blue short sleeve shirt that has red forks on the side with some cotton candy covered shorts, on the other hand Roxy is wearing a red silky singlet that ends above her stomach and grey boxers with little glass spilling wine, john looks to be wearing the same thing as always except he is wearing yellow sweatpants instead, Vriska is wearing a dark blue singlet with a black Scorpio sign and grey shorts with 8cue balls. Karkat has on a plain black tee with black shorts both having the cancer on it as well as little crabs in the shorts and Terezi's wearing a baggy red shirt and white boxers with little colourful scalemates on them. **

**All in all Crim seems pretty proud of all the pj designs and mumbles **

Crim: cost me a shit load of grist but there all so cute!

Sollux: iim gonna beat all your a22e2 iin thiis game

Karkat: YOU WISH ASSHAT LETS PLAY

**They all start playing Patapon and slowly everyone starts to die one by one until it's been 10 minutes in the game that only Crim and Sollux are left alive **

Crim: I'm so not going down without a fight

Sollux: briing iit on

**Another 2 minutes and Crim finally dies **

Crim: haha that was fun and I almost beat you too

Sollux: you wii2h but you aren't two bad a player way better then Karkat

Karkat: WHAT!?

Sollux: don't start bucket king

**Karkat growls but shuts up **

Crim: ok this is the list of who died first starting with…

Crim: Karkat, Roxy, Terezi, Gamzee, Aradia, Jake, Tavros, Equius, Nepeta, Rose, Kanaya, Feferi, Jade, Jane, Eridan, Vriska, john, Dave, Dirk, me and the winner is Sollux

Crim: haha Karkat you lost to two people who weren't even sober and a blind girl!

Crim: no offence

Terezi: NON3 T4K3N

Terezi: TH4T'S WH4T YOU HUM3NS S4Y R1GHT?

Dave: you got it

Karkat: SHUT UP I LOST BECAUSE I GOT FUCKING DISTRACTED YOU NOOKSUCKERS

Crim: too bad now in the next chapter your Sollux's servant for the day

Karkat: WHAT!?

Sollux: oh ye22222 thank you whoever you are

Crim: and you also get to permanently keep the four drums and all the masks

Sollux: cool I gue22?

Crim: well that's it for tonight people let's go check upstairs to see how's the room going

**You finally end this chapter with a happy Authoress and she tells you all before disappearing upstairs to review more truth or dares for everyone **

**What's that button on the right hand corner? It looks so tempting to review and what's the harm? The button is calling your name so just… press… it **

**Edit: sorry this chapter was a bit long but I'll try to shorten it next time **


	3. Thank you

**Chapter 3 **

**Third chapter guys yay thanks all for review and keep it up by the way thnx a lot GoogleHeadOtaku **

**It's the next day and you find no one in the house, you check in every room but with no success, you decide to look outside and to your surprise the scenery has changed from the neighbourhood storm of last night into a bright and sunny beach where you spot the Authoress and her prison- ahem 'guests' near the water, you move towards them **

**You see that Sollux, Aradia, Tavros, Jade and Jake are playing in the shore with jake playing fetch with Jade and Sollux, Tavros and Aradia splashing around, with the rest waist deep in water swimming around and playing with a beach ball minus Crim and Karkat who were under an umbrella on the sand. Karkat wearing grey shorts with the Cancer sign on the sides and the Authoress wearing a black bikini with the sign of void in blue on both pieces, one on the left side of her top bikini and another smaller one on the bottom bikini, naturally showing the Authoress curves, although she is still busy with her music as usual to realise. **

Crim: oh god I thought I got rid of you

**Crim takes off her earphones **

**She knows she can't get rid of me **

Crim: I thought you left

**Crim just realises that I has been here up to the last chapter but was concentrating too much on the dares**

Crim: well can you stop? People do get bored of your talking you know

**You ignore the Authoress entirely and continue to narrate her **

Crim: you know what I give up you win today's battle. For now

Karkat: TALKING TO THAT FUCKING IRRITATING SCREECH CALLED A FUCKING VOICE

**you are offended by the way karkat describes your voice **

Crim: yea hey! why aren't you in the water?

**Karkat is surprised by the question and stutters **

Karkat: NO F-FUCKING REASON W-WHY AR-RE YOU NOT I-IN THE WATER

Crim: aww your stuttering's so cute

**Karkat blushes and looks away **

Karkat: F-FUCK YOU

Crim: haha I'm joking I just felt like listening to music instead

Karkat: YOU ALWAYS FEEL LIKE LISTENING TO FUCKING MUSIC

Crim: It calms me down a lot for some reason, I always feel chill with music but anyways why aren't you in the water Karkat

**Karkat stares at Crim a little then looks down quickly **

Karkat: NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS WHY CANT I BE HERE

Crim: because first you hate me…

karkat: I NEVER SA-

Crim: and second everyone's in the water so I'm guessing there's a problem?

Crim: a water problem?

**Karkat's blush deepens in embarrassment and anger **

Karkat: IM NOT FUCKING AFRAID SHITHEAD I JUST DONT FEEL LIKE GOING IN

Crim: I never said thaaaaaaaat hehe

Karkat: FUCK

Crim: haha come on I feel like getting in

**Crim grabs Karkat's hand and runs towards the water where Terezi, gamzee, nepeta and all the others were **

**They reach the shore and Crim gingerly puts her feet in **

Crim: it's not as cold as I thought it would be

Crim: come on hurry up Karkat!

**She pulls him into the water and continues deeper and deeper until she's a bit above waist and Karkat up to his chest **

Crim: pffft you look like a little kid

Karkat: SHUT THE FUCK UP

nepeta: :33 come on Crimkitty swim with me!

**Nepeta leaves Equius and swims towards Crim **

Crim: haha you turned me into a cat pun?

Nepeta: :33 we're furrends why not? Don't like it?

Crim: no it's pawsitively adorable hehe

**Nepeta purrks up at the cat pun **

Karkat: OH MY FUCKING GOG

**A paranoid Equius swims towards the group **

Equius: D- nepeta I insist you do not leave my side again

Crim: relax Equius there's nothing to be cautious about relax a little!

Nepeta: :3:3 yeah Eqkitty relaxxx

Equius: D- Nepeta how many times have I told you not to hang around lowb100ds

Karkat: EXCUSE ME SWEATBAG!?

Nepeta: :3:3 I can be with whoever I want!

Crim: come on karkat I sense tension in the air

**Crim and karkat leave the fighting morails and swim over to Feferi, Eridan, gamzee, Terezi and Rose **

Crim: hey guys enjoying yourselves?

Feferi: y-eah! W-e are having such fun with everyfin

Rose: I can say it is an enjoyable activity I haven't done ever

Eridan: Reelly!? Wwhat else are you suppose to glubbing do then?

Rose: read

Terezi: H4Y K4K4RT!,

Karkat: OH UH HEY TEREZI

**Crim casually nudges Karkat towards her and swim towards Feferi **

Crim: miss the sea much?

Feferi: oh v-ery much! E-specially all my cuttl-efish

Crim: oh here you go

**Crim snaps her fingers and a small green cuttlefish appears in her hand **

Feferi: E-E-E-E-E! Thanks so glubbing much Crim reelly!

**Feferi grabs the cuttlefish and starts stroking it lovingly **

Eridan: Wwhe

Crim: as alone as ever I see

Eridan: shut up landdwweller I'm not lonely

**You feel sorry for the sea dweller even though you don't like him very much and whisper something in his ear **

Eridan: that's a great idea! Glad I thought of it

**Crim rolls her eyes **

Crim: your welcome asshole

**Eridan gets out of the water and silently goes behind Sollux before he can react Eridan grabs Sollux and throws him in the water **

Sollux: wha-what the fuck? Aaahaaaah

**Sollux quickly starts sinking but Eridan grabs him and starts going deeper **

Sollux: l-let go of me fiishdiick briing me back to the 2hore!

Eridan: no wway

**Everyone starts laughing as Sollux panics causing most of us to swallow water when the laughing finally dies down crim mumbles **

Crim: I ship this. So. Hard

Nepeta: :33 your an Erisol shipper too? pawsome!

Crim: I ship a lot of things and a lot are pretty strange

Crim: who's your OTP besides Karnep

**The cat troll blushes slightly **

Nepeta: :33 how do you know!?

Crim: hehe I have my ways soooo?

Nepeta: :33 wellll hmmm there's so many ships butttt…

Nepeta: :33 I gotta say Gamtav who's yours?

Crim: johnvris

**The authoress and cat troll continue to talk about ships while everyone else enjoys the beach and finally decide to go home around midday **

**Everyone packs up and walk towards the house halfway there… **

Crim: it's too annoying to walk in sand

**She snaps her fingers and the scene turns back to the neighbourhood **

Vriska: if you can do that can't you take us to the house?

**Crim realises what the troll is saying and snaps everyone back home, now dry and with their normal clothes on except this time the Author is wearing a black skirt and a light purple short sleeve shirt **

Crim: that's better now people get ready for lunch

Dirk: great I'm starving

**Everyone's going to the kitchen when crim realises she hasn't checked on any reviews **

Crim: damn I forgot too much shipping in my head

**She goes to her laptop which was lying on the floor and goes to reviews and realises two new have came in **

Crim: guys cancel lunch we have dares to do!

**You can hear a series of groans **

Jade: can't we have dares AFTER lunch?

Crim: hurry up we can't keep reviewers waiting

**They all walk into the living room and sit on the couch, chairs and beanbags that I appearified recently **

Crim: ok this first one is-

Karkat: WAIT

**Everyone stops and looks at karkat **

Crim: what?

Karkat: AM I IN ANY OF THESE DARES?

crim: no your off the hook today

Karkat: FUCK YES

Crim: your in group ones though

Karkat: FUUUUUU

**You click the top review **

**ikadoranElsen**

**I dare all of the trolls to scurry around on their knees while bleating like goats and/or Daves while the humans make the derpiest faces they can manage and run around in circles flapping their arms like retarded chickens while making chicken noises. **

Crim: well this is… interesting

Dave: da fuck?

Crim: did you just read over my shoulder again?

Dave: yeah

Crim: sit. Now

Crim: anyway all you trolls down on your knees and bleat like a goat

Trolls: what?

Crim: now. It's a dare

**They are do as their told after explains what a 'goat' was **

Aradia: baa baaa baa. Ribbit damn

Terezi: H3H3H3H3 B44 B44 B44

Sollux: thii2 baa ii2 baa baa 2tupiid

Crim: now I don't understand the Dave part but you all have to put on your derpiest faces on and go around in circles flapping your arms like retarded chickens

**They are do as they are told and try their hardest to keep their derp faces on while flapping their arms in circles besides Dave and dirk who were doing it like it was the most ironic thing ever **

Crim: pfft

**Crim holds out a camera and takes a photo of this scene **

Crim: hehe okay okay I think that's enough

Tavros: DID YOU UH,,, TAKE A PICTURE OF US?

Crim: no (hehehehe This is going as my screensaver)

Crim: okay moving onnnnn

Crim: this is from GoggleHeadOtaku

**GoggleHeadOtaku **

**Don't worry, you'r3 do1ng F3f3r1's qu1rk r1ght. Th3 only dar3 1 can th1nk of 1s to hav3 3v3ryone adm1t the1r flush3d f33lings (your cu3 to sh1p your favour1te sh1ps, author3ss) **

Crim: okay people time for a flush crush confections

**Everyone pales **

Feferi: what!?

Crim: you heard me now let's start with the humans

Crim: Jade you first

Jade: *blushing* Dave

John: V-Vriska

**Vriska blushes deeply **

Dave: Ter

Rose: Kanaya

Dirk: Jake

Jake: Dirk

**Jane's face falls when she hears this (poor thing) **

Jane: uh umm Jake

**Jake is caught off guard **

Jake: huh?

Crim: moving on Roxy

Roxy: *hic* direky! Heehee *hic*

Crim: now Karkat

**Karkat blushes **

Karkat: UH WELL UM TEREZI

**(I'm sorry Karnep shippers don't hate me) Nepeta is crestfallen**

Aradia: Sollux

Tavros: uHHH,,, gamzee

Sollux: … Eriidan

**Everyone stares in disbelief at him well everyone except for Nepeta and Crim who were squealing in the background **

Crim: *cough cough* moving on

Nepeta: Karkitty

Kanaya: Rose

Terezi: Dave

**Karkat makes a surprised look then looks down **

Vriska: J8hn

Equius: D- …

Crim: Equius?

Equius: D- I refuse to participate in such f001lery

Crim: you remember the dare penalty? It's still up

Equius: D- …I need a towel

Crim: hurry up

Equius: D- …A-A-Aradia

Gamzee: TaVbRo

Eridan: Sollux

**You notice the mustard colour forming on Sollux's cheeks**

Feferi: Sollux

Crim: seems like Sollux is the flush favourite

Crim: so now let's go to lunch

Kanaya: wait

Crim: huh?

Kanaya: didn't the human reviewer dared everyone to admit their flush crush?

Crim: yeah?

Rose: we are still missing one

Crim: what do you- oh

**All eyes turn to Crim grinning **

Eridan: sooo wwho is your flush crush hmmmm?

**Crim cheeks darken as she tries to avoid the question **

Crim: don't you guys just want to have lunch? Hehe come on

Sollux: you'll receiive the punii2hment iif you don't do iit

**Crim goes into a light shade of purple blushing beyond possible **

Crim: fine it's…

Crim: *mumbling* Mhnhhnn

Jade: what did you say?

Crim: I SAID KARKAT OKAY HAPPY!?

**Everyone is shocked as the authoress runs to her room and locks it still blushing madly as everyone stands there dumbfounded **

**You end this chapter with some trolls and humans bonds and hearts broken while others strengthen and a very embarrassed authoress locked in her room but are these relationships set in stone? Nah why not fuck it up a bit **

**Edit: might change a few pairings in the couple of chapters to come if I feel like it **

**R&R people don't forget to include your OTP if you want!**


	4. Poor fef…

**Chapter 4 **

**Here we go… **

**You wake up to the smell of breakfast and voices. You realise that you fell asleep waiting for everyone. You go to the kitchen where a table, chairs and endless supply of food and water (and other drinks) have recently been appearified, you peer deeper into the kitchen to find Jane and Jade already up and cooking some pancakes, you leave the busy girls to do their work and decide to check upstairs to find 5 locked rooms near you. Of course you being a voice you are able to pass through the locked doors. You enter the closest room and surprisingly it isn't locked, you find 3 sleeping girls (and trolls) in the room. **

Roxy: Zzzzzz *snort* zzzz

**You can see Roxy snoring on a bed big enough to fit two people in the corner, on the other side you can see Aradia in a sleeping bag surrounded by corpses wearing party hats, you look above her to see streamers and a sign saying corpse party! **

**Obviously the author put powerful scented candles somewhere so you can't smell the decay, and in the middle of the room is an air mattress where Feferi is sleeping peacefully holding her small green cuttlefish in a temporary bag of water. **

Feferi: zzz glub… zzz… cuttlefish

**You hear her murmur in her sleep. She looks adorable and you decide to go to the locked room in front. You enter and immediately see five guys (and trolls) snoring loudly, before you look at who they are your eyes travel to some of the posters on their walls, anime girls, game posters and on one wall posters of rom com movies and blue girls, there is also a few metal parts on the floor. You think you can guess who's room this is… **

Karkat: ZZZzZ

Sollux: *snort* zzz

**And sure enough on the top bunk is Dirk who was hanging over the edge like a monkey, the only thing keeping him on the air is the blanket that got wrapped around his ankle. You see Sollux on the bottom bunk snoring, every time he breaths in little red and blue electricity forms in the air above him. It is very dangerous so you quickly go to the other side where the movie posters are and also happens to be the tidiest part of the room… **

**You find Equius curled up in a sleeping bag on the floor (surprisingly it wasn't ripped by his muscles so it must've been a special kind of material (magic)) strangely looking like a cute little wriggler, Karkat and Jake were horn to foot position on an air mattress, Jake having the blanket rolled up around him and Karkat blanket-less though you don't think they notice because both are sprawled out having Karkat's foot on Jake's face and Jake's leg on Karkat's chest both snoring, you snap your fingers and take a couple of photos with the camera you summoned**

**Your work here is done and with your curiosity still piqued you move to the room next door where Eridan, John, Dave Tavros and Gamzee were sleeping, John and Dave on a bunk bed, Gamzee on a horn pile in the furthest corner, Tavros and Eridan on another bunk bed on the other side of the room. You look on the floor to see it littered with Aj bottles, horns, pranking stuff and stuffed animals, you look at the walls to see they are completely covered with posters of random shit, soper pie and clowns… **

**Not too fond of the room anymore you quickly go to the next one. Where Terezi, Kanaya, Vriska and Rose were sound asleep on two beds Rose and Kanaya snuggled on one bed, Vriska on the floor leaning against the wall a blanket on her legs, falling slightly every now and then and Terezi on the other side gnawing on a pillow, a bit of drool dripping onto the bed, it seems someone was recently asleep next to her. **

**And lastly you go to the Authoress's room where she was asleep on a big bed with dark blue sheets and black 8cue balls her eyes looking slightly puffy, she seems deep in sleep and startles you when she opens her eyes to glare at the air **

Crim: go away

**You say no but have something that might cheer her up **

Crim: what?

**You drop the photos in front of the Authoress**

**She gets up and looks at the photos in confusion then quickly starts laughing quietly **

Crim: haha where did you get this?

**You say that you were looking around **

**Crim eyes lit up**

Crim: I have an idea

**20 minutes pass until anyone gets up, Crim sits in the kitchen helping herself to Betty Crocker pancakes and some juice until she hears laughter and shouts from the living room. **

Karkat: WHO THE FUCK PUT THIS UP!?

Terezi: H3H3H3H3 WOW K4RKL3S NIC3 P1CTUR3

Nepeta: :33 h33h33 Eqkitty you look so cute!

Equius: D- I…need a towel

Rose: heh Jake very…interesting

Dave: pffft dude seriously?

Dirk: shut it

**Crim walks in **

Crim: pffft hehe it seems you've seen the new decoration

Karkat: DID YOU GO INTO OUR ROOMS WHILE WE WERE SLEEPING!?

Equius: D- I thought I locked the door

Dirk: not cool sis

Jake: was I really sleeping like that

Crim: actually I didn't go into anyone's room but a little birdie left this gift for me

Crim: and i decided to show everyone it

Crim: …is that a problem?

Karkat: YES FUCKASS

**Crim narrows her eyes cheeks blushing, angry and still embarrassed **

**Karkat also remembers and looks at the ground **

**Crim suddenly smiles trying to avoid awkwardness **

Crim: oh I can't believe I forgot that you have to be Sollux's slave for a day

Sollux: ye2222 that'2 riight biitch

Karkat: FUCK

Jane: breakfast is ready!

Crim: come on hurry up

Sollux: Karkat carry me to the kiitchen

Karkat: FUCK NO-

Sollux: what? ii thought ii heard a rejection want a piie?

Karkat: …

**Karkat bent down and Sollux sits on his shoulders **

Karkat: FUCK WHAT DO YOU FUCKING EAT?

**Karkat practically crawls to the kitchen with Sollux on his shoulders snickering the whole way **

**Eridan grumbles behind **

**Everyone sits around the table drinking juice and eating pancakes, well everyone besides john who threw up when he realised it was Betty Crocker pancakes **

Crim: you sure your ok john?

John: blegh yea just give me some orange juice

Dave: dude no drink AJ not OJ

John: too late

**John drinks the entire glass in one go **

Jade: you go John! Woof!

Dave: no John no

**Crim grabs her laptop from the counter, sits down and checks on the reviews, she's reading through the new ones when an arm wraps around her shoulder trying to look at her laptop, Crim closes the top quickly and turns to glare at the arm's owner just to be met with 8 pair of eyes **

Vriska: soooooooo your a fan eh?

Crim: Vriska don't think I don't know you

Crim: I can see what your trying to do

Vriska: worth a try

Crim: ha but to answer your question yes

Vriska: w8it wha-

Crim: now people let's get moving we got dares to do!

**She claps her hands and gets up**

**They all start complaining as they walk to the living room and settle into seats but the authoress ignores them and continues**

Crim: this is from musicalBlink once again

**musicalBlink **

**Hehehehehehehheh**

**Yessssssss**

**I am the sick fuck. **

**Everything is wrong with my think pan, kitkat ;) **

Crim: hey karkat remember the reviewer who you called a sick fuck?

Karkat: HOW CAN I FORGET THAT ASSHAT

Crim: he/she took it as a compliment and says that everything is wrong with her/his thinkpan

Crim: and they called you kitkat

Karkat: WHAT THE FUCK? CANT THAT NOOKSUCKER AT LEAST SPELL MY NAME RIGHT?

Karkat: ITS NOT KITKAT, ITS NOT KARKITTY AND ITS NOT FUCKING KARKLES ITS KARKAT! K-A-R-K-A-T FUCKASS

Crim: I haven't finished yet

**musicalBlink **

**Hello! The sick fuck is back with another dare. XD**

**So, this time Feferi has to eat cuttlefish fish. **

**It cannot be chopped up in any way to make it less recognisable. She cannot dip it with something else. She is not allowed to have a drink. She is absolutely NOT allowed to spit it out. If she does, she'll have to eat two whole cuttlefish INCLUDING THE SPIT UP ONE.**

**For each time she spits it up (in case she spits it up more than once) the amount of cuttlefish will double. **

**For this one, just to be extra cruel, let's take away the choice of eating soper pie as well. **

**Thanks for reminding me of her love of cuttlefish with that beach scene! X33**

Crim: you triple checked your spelling for this didn't you?

musicalBlink: yep

Crim: I'm sorry fef

Feferi: w)(y?

**You hand Feferi your laptop but not before Vriska takes it halfway **

Vriska: ooooooooh 8n't this crueeeeeeeel haha I like you

Crim: Vriska give it back!

Vriska: no w8y!

**Crim still not over the events of this morning, gets very angry when Vriska runs to the door with her precious laptop **

**It seems her anger changes her into someone else **

**Her eyes turn light green, her hair turns black and she dangerously pales **

**She disappears and reappear in front of Vriska like a ghost, a creepy smile plastered on her face, she snatches the laptop and reappears where she originally was, back to normal **

Vriska: w-wh8t the f8ck just h8ppened

John: I-I don't know

Dave: still think its a trick of light seer?

Rose: very funny

Crim: don't take my laptop again. Ok?

**Crim oblivious to what just happened hands her laptop to a confused Feferi **

**She rereads the dare and her eyes widen **

Feferi: N-no not my cuttl-efish

**light fuchsia tears start streaming down her face **

Feferi: I'll e-at the pie! I don't want to e-at my cuttlefish

Crim: sorry fef it seems the reviewer thought that you would say that there doesn't seem to be a loop hole

**You rereread the text wait that's a word right? Auto correct says it isn't oh well (very clever you really thought of that dare didn't you?) **

Crim: unfortunately you have to eat it raw and you can't chop or add anything to it or have a drink to wash it down

Feferi: *sniff* I don't know what I've don-e to you to do this to m-e

Eridan: this is so cruel

Crim: you can have it after okay?

Feferi: *sniff* okay

**Feferi gives you the bag with the cuttlefish and you ask Jane to put it away, she goes to the kitchen with the innocent creature **

**Crim reads it one more time and realises something, she runs to the kitchen and quickly comes back showing no sign that she's going to reveal anything **

Crim: ok next dare

Crim: yay it's GoggleHeadOtaku again

**GoggleHeadOtaku**

**My OTP 1s JohnDav3, but 1'm cool w1th pr3tty much any sh1p you can th1nk of. 1 b3l13v3 that that 3v3ryon3 who sh1ps has a r1ght to sh1p what3v3r th3y want, as long as th3y r3sp3ct oth3r p3opl3's sh1ps. How3v3r th3 occas1onal good-natur3d sh1pping war 1s acc3tptabl3. You could dar3 John to 3at a hug3 cak3 (and then hav3 Vr1ska r3scu3 h1m from th3 3v1ls of th3 batt3rwitch) **

**(Nice typing style and remember its truth or dare! Anything can happen like I said I might change the pairings up a bit and I'm the same I think I would ship anything but I do have my preferences :D) **

**Crim goes back to the kitchen **

Crim: can you bake a cake?

Jane: of course I can bake a cake! what kind vanilla? Chocolate? Small cake? Big cake? Rainbow cake?

Crim: …um just a small chocolate cake. Betty Crocker. Don't tell John

Jane: well what other kind of cake would I bake!

Crim: yea ok anyways I'm going back to the living room

**Crim walks into the living room and takes a seat on her bean bag **

John: why'd you go to the kitchen

Crim: oh you were dared to eat a cake

John: ok I suddenly think you guys aren't so bad

Karkat: AND WHERE'S MY FUCKING RESPECT HUH!?

Sollux: Karkat briing me 2ome water

Karkat: FUCK YOU

**He grumbles as he walks to the kitchen **

Sollux: ii know what you mean John

**Eridan scoots closer to Sollux **

Eridan: wwell wwhale wwe're wwaiting wwhy don't you do another dare

Crim: good idea *mumbling* surprisingly

Eridan: I heard that

Crim: anyway our last dare is from B4s1l1cK

**B4s1l1cK**

**Whatsuuuuuuup? **

Vriska: why? Why 7 u's one more and it would've been perfect

Crim: Can I finish now?

**B4s1l1cK**

**Whatsuuuuuuup? It's the slimy eyeball again more video game dares (mhuhahaha) so yeah **

**I dare everybody to re-volt online (oh and Karkat HAS to pick phat slug (slowest rc car in the game))so good luck with that. Winner gets loser as serpent for 3 chapters. **

Crim: another game dare guys I'm gonna go look it up

Crim: please try not to kill each other

Gamzee: BuT YoUr rIGHt MoThErFuCkInG HeRe CrImSiS

Crim: just telling you guys just in case

Crim: do you know how hard it is to wipe blood stains from the floor?

**Crim gets to work on finding out about this game at the same time playing music to calm her anger from this morning right down, it works and it takes another 5 minutes of researching until Jane comes in with two plates in her hands, on her left is a chocolate cake, on the right is a dead cuttlefish **

Crim: hey the reviewer said raw not alive

Feferi: poor glubbing thing!

**Feferi wipes her eyes and takes the plate with shaky hands **

Crim: and you can't spit it out or you'll have to eat double the amount and the spat out one

Dave: awesome in an ironic way

Jake: that is terribly disgusting

Crim: shoosh!

**Feferi grabs the little creature with her fingers and with the bravest face she can manage puts the thing in her mouth**

Feferi: mhmMm!

Crim: don't spit it! Just swallow. Quickly

**She trembles a bit and tears form around her eyes but somehow she manages to swallow the cuttlefish without chewing (how she doesn't choke I don't know) **

Feferi: blegh! *cough* *cough* w-wat-er!

**Eridan starts to run for water but is stopped by the Authoress **

Crim: she can't! She's not allowed to!

Eridan: are you glubbin kiddin me!?

Crim: Jane give her some cake

Crim: the reviewer said she can't have a drink or have it with something else

Crim: he/she never said anything about AFTER completing the dare

**Feferi takes a piece and stuffs it in her mouth trying to get rid of her pets flavour from her mouth **

Feferi: *hic* *hic* *sniff* that was *sniff* t-eribl-e

**She curls up and Kanaya walks over, rubbing her back **

Kanaya: there there it's okay sweetie

Eridan: your not her morail

Kanaya: she doesn't have one

**Eridan and Kanaya have a vicious stare off looking about ready to kill each other **

Crim: break it up you two come on Fef I think you had enough traumatic experience for one night

**She doesn't budge, she seems to be in shock **

Crim: *sigh*

**The Authoress picks up Feferi and piggybacks her upstairs **

**Luckily Feferi was very light and the authoress wasn't entirely weak**

**Crim returns shortly after **

Crim: okay now I've already sent the link to your lap and hive tops

Crim: again rules already explained inside Karkat you have to pick phat slug

Karkat: BUT HE IS THE SLOWEST FUCKING CAR IN HERE

Crim: I think that's the point and same as before loser serves winner 3 chapters. Go

**Everyone starts playing minus Roxy who had been asleep all day, Gamzee who was in a corner staring off into space and Feferi who was most likely passed out on her bed. **

**Not even 10 minutes in and Karkat rage quits (it was the funniest thing ever) **

Karkat: FUCK THIS SHIT ITS NO FUCKING FAIR THAT I HAVE TO HAVE THE FUCKING WEAKEST PIECE OF SHIT YOU HUMANS CALL CARS ITS OBVIOUS THAT THAT FUCKING NOOKSUCKER JUST WANTS ME TO SUFF-

**Gamzee walks over to his morail and shoosh-paps him**

Karkat: THANK YOU

Karkat: JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING PIE ALREADY IM NOT GOING TO DO ANYONES SHIT FOR THREE WHOLE FUCKING CHAPTERS AGAIN

Crim: actually I decided every 4 chapters I'm changing the punishment

Crim: this time the punishment is to step on a piece of Lego. Bare footed

**The humans wince **

Karkat: SERIOUSLY? I HAVE TO STEP ON A HUMAN WRIGGLERS PEICE OF TOY

Crim: here you go

Karkat: FUCKING FINE

**Karkat steps on the Lego full force **

Karkat: FUUUUCCC- WHY DOES THIS PIECE OF SHIT HURT SO FUCKING MUCH

Crim: that's why you never step on a Lego

**Karkat falls to the ground holding his foot, after a few minutes he gets up but winces when he walks **

Crim: last dare John! Eat the cake!

John: Gladly!

**John practically devours the whole cake, on his last piece he asks**

John: this *nom* is really *nom nom* delicious what kind of cake is it?

Crim: Betty Crocker

**John stops and he looks like he is about to have a mental break down but suddenly a Pieces symbol appears on John's forehead and he freezes **

Crim: shit it's starting everyone hide

**Everyone looks at each other confused but do as they are told and quickly hide behind a nearby table**

Terezi: WHY 4R3 W3 H1D1NG :?

Crim: ummm cause the batter witch took control of John

Jade: batter witch?

Crim: the Condonsetion

**(That's how you spell it right? Whatever) **

Vriska: oh f8ck no that 8itch 8n't gonna t8uch John

**Vriska walks up to John who was starting to go into the air and slaps him. Hard **

Vriska: hey wake up don't tell me that your so weak

Vriska: th8t y8ur letting the 8atter w8tch control y8u

**She slaps him again knocking him to the ground, she grabs him by the shirt and dangles him in the air, she almost looks like she's ready to cry **

Vriska: or is she too str8ng t8 f8ce al8ne?

**Vriska does a very surprising move.**

** She kisses him **

Vriska: get the fuck out of John 8itch

**You think that kiss surprised John out of mind control as his face heats up like a tomato **

John: t-t-thanks-

**Vriska kisses him again, dark blue colouring her cheeks **

Vriska: sh8t up

**She releases him and looks away, cheeks still burning as he falls on his butt **

Vriska: you needed someone to help you since your still weak

**John smiles goofily, still on the ground **

John: yeah… guess so

**You finally end this chapter with a traumatised Feferi, a blushing Serket, a happy John and an angry Karkat in pain. You don't know a better way to end this chapter besides saying thank you to all reviewers and keep it coming**


	5. Movie night

**Chapter 5 **

**Sorry for the long wait went camping and couldn't post so I hope this makes up for it now let's begin…**

**You are in a dark unfamiliar room with a big screen playing a movie, in the corner you find a pile of movies in alphabetical order, the kids and trolls crowd around the room holding popcorn, sweets and drinks, some are on the floor while others are on chairs, beanbags and couches. **

**You spot Dave sitting on a couch with Terezi leaning on his shoulder and Jade on his lap, at the edge is karkat who was leaning against the arm chair grumpy as he sees Dave with the girls. A little bit further away you spot John and Vriska sitting closely together on beanbags, Jane near the front was awkwardly trying to scoot closer to Jake who was sitting very close to Dirk. You look around to see most trolls and kids like this either together or trying to get close to their flush crush. **

**You find it adorable that they are all trying so much but you feel very lonely **

**Speaking of lonely you realise the Authoress is nowhere to be seen **

**you leave the theater room and go to her room where your sure she'll be. **

**You enter the room and you see that Crim and Nepeta are talking **

Crim: sorry Nepeta

Nepeta: :33 It's ok Crimkitty I just wished you told me you liked Karkitty though

Crim: I just didn't want to upset you

Crim: I didn't want to break this friendship or whatever we have here

Nepeta: :33 it wouldn't purreak our furrendship!

Nepeta: :33 look Karkitty likes Terezi and we're still furrends!

**(Does nepeta call Terezi in a cat pun? Like purrezi or something? idk)**

Crim: no hard felines?

**Nepeta grins at the cat pun **

Nepeta: *AC accepts the apologies graciously and tackle-pounces Crimkitty!*

Crim: haha ok ok! *the authoress is glad that AC and her are still friends*

**The authoress pats the small cat troll**

Equius: D- Nepeta there you are

Nepeta: :33 Eqkitty me and Crimkitty are Furrends again!

Equius: D- that's nice Nepeta now shall we return to everyone?

Crim: good idea we have dares to get through

**They all leave the room but crim pulls the cat troll back and whispers **

Crim: *whispering* My other OTP is You and Equius

Nepeta: :33 huh!?

**The little troll slightly blushes an olive green and the authoress grins **

Nepeta: :33 but ah what quadrant?

Crim: well that's myyy secret

Nepeta: what!? No fair

**nepeta frowns playfully**

Equius: D- what are you two discussing about over there?

Crim: heehee oh nothing right Nepeta?

Nepeta: :33 uh yep nothing!

**Nepeta's cheeks still green smiles confusing the sweaty troll**

**They reach the theatre and Crim goes to the side where a control panel is**

**She stops the movie and turns on the lights**

Crim: alrighty guys gotta do some dares

**There are shouts and complaints **

Jake: by golly don't turn it off now! The best parts coming

Karkat: YEA THE FUCKING ENDING

Jake: hey!

Crim: that's great now move out people

Crim: nobody wants to read about you watching Avatar

Jake: well some people want to watch it

Crim: whatever hurry up you guys can do a movie marathon later

**Everyone goes to the living room grumbling, well nearly everyone **

Crim: hey guys where's Roxy and Feferi?

Everyone: …

**Crim facepalms**

Crim: don't tell me you forgot about them

Sollux: we were 2orta occupiied wiith the moviie

Crim: you do realise you left Roxy and fef up there all day right?

**She sighs**

Crim: Jane get some food for Roxy I'll go get fef

**Jane runs to the kitchen while Crim goes upstairs**

**She reaches Feferi's room to find it unlocked she decides to proceed **

**The Authoress finds a sleeping Feferi and doesn't know if- **

Crim: shoosh!

***whispering* she should wake her **

Crim: she's been asleep all day of course I'm gonna wake her

**Well sorry **

**Crim gently nudges Feferi awake **

Feferi: *yawns* is it morning alr-eady?

Crim: it's the afternoon

**Feferi looks mildly surprised **

Feferi: oh

Crim: you ok now?

Feferi: a bit

**She shows a tiny smile **

Crim: still miss your cuttlefish?

Feferi: v-ery

Crim: well the dares are starting and we might need you

Feferi: …fin-e

**Crim notices the change in Feferi **

Crim: hey if it makes you happy I can appearify another cuttlefish

**She perks up a bit but then her eyes widen **

Feferi: r-e-elly? Wait I don't hav-e to e-at it again right?

Crim: nope now come on

Feferi: …ok

**You walk down stairs with Feferi and notice everyone already waiting **

Crim: Eridan your in my seat

Eridan: can't wwe sit anywwhere?

Crim: anywhere but my seat move

Eridan: wwhy should I?

**Crim goes to her seat and sits on her beanbag in one motion pushing Eridan with her hips causing him to fall on Sollux's lap (who happen to be sitting next to him) **

**Sollux's cheek turn a mustard colour while Eridan's turn purple**

**Crim smiles**

Crim: that's why

Nepeta: *whispering* I ship it

Karkat: CAN WE GET A FUCKING MOVE ON? MY MOVIE WAS NEXT AND I WANTED TO FUCKING WATCH IT

Crim: someone's being grouchy

Dave: probably because he had no hot chicks on him

Karkat: SHUT THE FUCK UP STRIDER

Crim: ok I'm moving this along before it turns into a bloodbath

**B4s1l1cK**

**Oh god…raw FUCKING fish? Dudeeeeeee(shut up spiderbitch 7's my lucky number) well sick fuck's done it now hehehe**

**I didn't come unprepared you know the game I made you play, Patapon? I did NOT give those drums away for no reason hehe let me explain:if you play PATA PON DON CHAKA on those drums it makes you feel way**

**Better,better than ever, I dare Sollux give the drums to feferi and I dare her to play that song, I also dare ms author to make it so every time you start reading a review from musicalblink sweet dreams by euphoria starts playing in the room**

**(Did you mean Eurythmics?)**

Crim: Sollux you still have those drums from Patapon?

Sollux: yea you saiid ii had to keep them permanently diidn't you

Crim: ok good go get them

Sollux: fiine

**He goes upstairs for a few minutes then comes back with four drums in the air **

Sollux: what? they were two heavy

Crim: doesn't matter give them to fef

Sollux: ok here ff

**He places them in front of Feferi and sits back down **

Crim: okay fef you've been dared to play PATA PON DON CHAKA on the drums

Feferi: um ok?

**She tests out the drum memorising the beat and starts to play**

**After a few minutes she stops and smiles perkily **

Aradia: are you ok Feferi?

Feferi: actually I'v-e n-ev-er f-elt any b-ett-er! Glub

**She says cheerfully **

Crim: oh so the drum worked

Roxy: what *hic* do you meen?

Roxy: mean*

Crim: couldn't stand being hung over?

Roxy: nop

Rose: if you could tell us what you meant by that statement…

Crim: oh simple the reviewer dared fef to play that beat because it was suppose to cheer her up or something

Tavros: sO YOUR UM,,,, SAYING THAT SHE'S BACK TO UH,, NORMAL?

Crim: yup

Dirk: cool

Crim: our next dare is from… oh no

**Suddenly sweet dreams starts playing in the room. Full blast**

**Everyone covers their ears **

Karkat: OH MY GOG WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

Crim: I've been dared to play sweet dreams when I'm reading out musicalBlink's reviews

John: read it quickly I think my ears are bleeding!

Rose: I would enjoy this song if it wasn't on full blast

**Crim reads as fast as she can **

**musicalBlink **

**Yeah, the cake was against the rules, but I guess it's too late to bitch about it now so… time for a new dare? **

**Yes I think so. **

**Ah I see… Y'know. I really LOVE picking on kitkat. **

**This time, he must paint a large mural of himself and everyone there (including you, crim) to the best of his capabilities…in blood. It can be troll or human blood or both. **

**Have fun kitkat. I'll be watching you ;)**

Eridan: you couldn't read any faster?

Crim: shut up I'm a slow reader

Crim: hey kitkat it seems your next on musicalBlink's torture list

Karkat: FUCKING HELL WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO DO THIS TIME

Crim: paint a mural of all of us

Karkat: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN

Crim: it's what nepeta does but this time you have to paint us

Karkat: DOESNT SOUND TOO FUCKING HARD

Crim: …you have to paint it in our blood

Crim: that or you have to step on the Lego again

Karkat: …

Karkat: YOU KNOW I FUCKING HATE THIS PERSON

**It takes a full 20 minutes before everything is ready and prepared **

**10 minutes to take out enough blood to paint the wall **

**And another 10 minutes to shoosh-pap Gamzee and keep Kanaya away from the bloody containers**

**Finally you place the containers in front of karkat in the living room**

Crim: where's Gamzee and Kanaya?

Dave: Gamzee is locked in a closet surrounded by soper pie

Jade: and Kanaya went to the kitchen to find someone to snack on

Crim: oh…

Terezi: W3 H4V3 CHOCOL4T3, 4PPL3B3RRY BL4ST, BLU3 R4SPB3RRY SLUSH13, BLU3B3RRY BUBBL3GUM, GR4P3S, BL4CKB3RR13S, BLU3 J3LLY, OL1V3S, SOUR GR33N 4PPL3, PLUMS 4ND P1NK M4RSHM3LLOWS

Terezi: 4ND TH3 ROS3 HUM4N 1S L4V4ND3R

Sollux: what the fuck are you talkiing about tz iit's red

Terezi: W3LL 1T SM3LLS L1K3 L4V4ND3R

Crim: well we have different types of blood not different colours

Crim: so I'm not surprised

Tavros: uH,, WHY IS THAT?

**The humans shrug **

Feferi: that's w-eird h-eh-e glub

Crim: anyway we're going upstairs yell when your ready

Karkat: THIS IS MAKING ME FEEL FUCKING SICK

**The Authoress leads her guests upstairs **

Crim: ok who's room is the tidiest?

Vriska: probably ourrrrrrrrs

Crim: ok then

**They all enter the third room and find places to sit**

**Rose and Kanaya squeeze onto their bed with John and Dave **

**While Terezi, Sollux, Eridan and Feferi sit on the other bed **

**Everyone else sits down on the floor making it a bit of a tight fit, Tavros had to sit in the closet so he doesn't knock anyone out **

Crim: it's a bit of a tight fit but it'll have to do

**I just said that**

Crim: and I'm saying it again

Dirk: dude your sitting on my hand

Nepeta: :33 OW! stop pulling on my coat!

Eridan: wwater is this?

Terezi: OH TH4T'S PROB4BLY MY S4L1V4

Eridan: gah! Gross

Sollux: don't wiipe iit on me fiishdiick!

Crim: seems like everyone's comfortable so let's do the next dare

**GoggleHeadOtaku **

**Thanks! Chang1ng my dar3 and l3tt1ng F3F3r1 3at th3 cak3 was f1n3, sh3 d1dn't d3s3rv3 that pa1n. Just to l3t you know. Cond3sc3 1s sp3ll3d l1k3 th1s and th3 Goggl3H3adOtaku 1s sp3ll3d w1th thr33 Gs and on3 O. 1 dare N3p3ta to f1nd a box of k1tt3ns and g1v3 on3 to 3ach p3rson. Th3y hav3 to k33p th3 k1tt3ns for3v3r, and th3y cannot b3 k1ll3d or harm3d by anyon3, 3sp3c1ally 1f 1t's on3 on mus1calBl1nk's dar3s.**

**(Hehe thanks and sorry bout that I just realised I misspelled your name my fault for not rerereading it like a Normal person) **

Crim: seems like we have to go to the appearify room

Tavros: bUT ISN'T IT UM,,, DOWNSTAIRS?

Crim: I have another one up here let's go

**Everyone starts leaving quickly, blocking the doorway **

Jade: gah! Stop pushing! Grrr

Terezi: H33H33 MOV3 MOV3!

Crim: Guys! Stop bunching up the walls-

**There's a crack **

**Then the sound of falling and groaning **

**Behind is the Authoress, hand on forehead shaking her head **

Crim: -going to collapse

Crim: let's go before you guys bring the house down

**They go through the hallway, turn the corner and enter the farthest room **

**Crim opens a portal into an unknown street **

Crim: nepeta you have been dared to find some kittens

Crim: then give us one e-

**Crim isn't able to finish the sentence because Nepeta already jumped through, closing the portal **

Equius: D- Nepeta!

Crim: wow slow down she's already gone

Equius: D- I demand you return nepeta right now lowb100d

Crim: sorry can't, when she finds the kittens she'll come back

**Equius clenches his fists ready to break anything and everything in his way **

**Crim does some quick pressing and a bunch of random robots appear **

**Equius smashes them up almost immediately**

Crim: better?

Equius: D- I would feel better if my morail was here

Crim: I'm sure she'll be here any-

**Suddenly a portal appears and sure enough the little cat troll jumps down dirty and with a box of kittens in her hands **

Crim: hey Nepeta you ok?

Nepeta: :33 Purrific!

**Equius nearly hugs her but stops himself and says**

Equius: Nepeta! Your filthy

Nepeta: :33 yea I had to go through alleyways and a few trash bins to get these guys

**She uncovers her coat in her arms and reveals a box of small dirty kittens **

**She gives three white kittens to Sollux, Feferi and Equius, two ginger kittens to Aradia and Kanaya, a black cat to Vriska who was about to drop it head first on the floor**

Crim: don't!

Vriska: why noooooooot this creature is too cute and fluffy I want a spider

Crim: you can't harm it that's part of the dare

Vriska: *sigh* fine

**A ginger and white mixed kitten to Eridan, a chocolate coloured one to Tavros, a striped kitten to Terezi and a black and white kitten to Crim. Inside a grey kitten, a grey and white kitten and ginger cat covered in black spots are still inside**

**Nepeta picks up the black spotted kitten **

Nepeta: :33 the gray kittens are for Karkitty and Gamzee

Crim: we'll give them those later

Crim: that's all the dare for today so…

Feferi: movie marathon?

**Everyone cheers and goes to the theatre room **

**You end the chapter with everyone leaving Karkat and Gamzee behind to worry about later, right now they go to finish watching Avatar **

**Hey guys sorry for the long wait thanks to everyone who continues posting and hope your enjoying this story **


	6. I'm alive!

**Chapter 6 **

**Hiiiiiiii **

**Oh wow the authoress returns from the dead…**

**you are once again reading another chapter of truth and dare from this newbie and you find yourself wondering how you put up with her writing (and laziness), you come up with no answer and can't help but continue to read this…**

**by the way I know a lot of characters have barely been mentioned I'm trying as hard as I can to fit everyone in this and I'm not sure if you realise it but every chapter I'm trying to highlight a different troll/human with a sort of extra story in it? I guess you could call it? Meh hopefully you know what I mean! But thanks for pointing it out :33**

**Now…**

**You are outside the mansion in the backyard enjoying the short vacation and fake sun on your skin, mostly everyone is playing soccer. Red verses Blue, Derse verses Prospit with Sollux and Gamzee (who had been released recently) keeping score and Eridan with Crim sitting in the tree behind them (you can tell that's bad already), Karkat is still inside painting the mural of all of them **

Sollux: Vrii2ka! That'2 agaiin2t the rule2 no abiiliitiie2 or magiic allowed!

Vriska: I don't know whaaaaaaaat your talking about

Sollux: you ju2t made Tavro2 fall on hii2 face

Tavros: iM UHHH,,,, OK

Gamzee: MoThErFuCkEr I DoN't tHiNk yOuR aLl Up aNd AlLoWeD tO Do tHe wInDy tHiNg EiThEr

**The intoxicated troll slurred at the floating human**

John: awwwwwwww

Vriska: was that 8 w's I heard joooooooohn?

Dave: …

Sollux: look you iidiiot2 they are very 2iimple rule2

Sollux: no hand2

**(For some reason I thought of the magic cupcakes video and yes it is a fucking hilarious video) **

Sollux: no pu2hiing and no abiiliitiie2 or magiic

Eridan: magic isn't reel

**Eridan mutters and Crim elbows him in the ribs **

Eridan: oww!

Crim: yes it is

Eridan: no it isn't

Crim: yes it is

Eridan: no

Crim: yes

Eridan: no

**The two continue bickering about the subject until Crim gives in tired of fighting with the stubborn seadweller **

Crim: fine you win this round fish face

Eridan: of course I wwin I never lose on this subject

**Crim punches him in the arm causing him to nearly fall off the branch **

Eridan: *muttering* bitch

Sollux: that'2 all got iit?

**Everyone ignores Sollux and continue playing **

Sollux: fiine then

**Sollux uses his telekinesis thingy and brings the ball to him **

Jade: hey we we're playing! Woof!

Sollux: oh 2o now you pay attentiion

Dave: dude give the ball back

Sollux: pfft you can try and get iit off me

Terezi: COM3 ON SOLLUX

**Suddenly everyone jumps on Sollux though land on each other when he flys to the air with his telekinesis thingy to save himself **

Sollux: hahaha niice try 2uckers

**Roxy and John look at each other and suddenly do the windy/voidy thing and the ball flies out of his hands **

Sollux: hey!

**Vriska grabs the ball from the cyclone and starts kicking it towards the goal**

Vriska: so looooooooong hahahaha

Terezi: OH NO YOU DON'T

**Terezi tackles Vriska to the ground **

Vriska: grr get off! We're on the same team!

**Soon enough everyone starts running with the ball in their hands or feet and tackling each other, using powers and anything they have, Crim jumps down the tree with Eridan and go towards a pissed off Sollux **

Crim: what happened to soccer?

Sollux: they deciided to do whatever the fuck they want

**Crim looks the game **

Crim: it looks like rugby just with feet and powers

Eridan: wwhat the fuck is rugby?

Crim: nothing *whispering* now go over there and calm your matesprit

**Eridan stares at me and a faint blush forms across his face **

Eridan: wwe're not matesprits and that's the job of his moirail

Crim: I can't believe you haven't asked yet He confessed like two chapters ago that he feels flushed for you

Eridan: back off! I'll knoww wwhen to ask him or not

Crim: better hurry up then your not the only one with a flush crush on him

**Eridan takes the advise and quickly goes over to mustard troll **

Eridan: h-hey sol

Sollux: hey fii2hdiick

**He sits down next to Sollux and stares at the ground, Sollux just stares at sky both don't know what to do **

Crim: *sigh* they grow up so fast

**Crim sees Gamzee besides them and quickly drags him away towards the tree **

Gamzee: wOw cHiLl OuT mOtHeRfUcKeR wHy DiD YoU hAvE tO aLl uP aNd Do ThAt

Crim: because they were having a moment and I'm sure they wanted to be alone

Gamzee: FaIr EnOuGh CrImSiS

**Crim giggles at the stoned troll's new nickname for her **

Crim: well if you understand

**Crim climbs the tree again and sits down where her momentarily forgotten laptop was**

**She starts looking through the new reviews she left closed for some time when she hears the rustles of leaves and looks up **

**Gamzee smiles lazily and plops down next to the authoress **

Crim: oh hey Gamzee watcha doing

Gamzee: sUp sIs JuSt wAnTeD tO SeE tHe MiRaCuLoUs vIeW honk

**The authoress goes back to her work while Gamzee starts drifting off to his own place losing balance in the process, he nearly falls completely until the authoress looks up in time and grabs his wrist tightly **

Gamzee: HONK! WoW tHaNkS SiS

Crim: haha it's okay just try not to fall again!

**The authoress and Gamzee spend the next few minutes next to each other with him staring off somewhere and Crim holding his arm so he doesn't fall again, she is also looking at the new reviews **

Crim: okay it seems we let vacation take over a bit too long

Crim: hey Gamz let's go we got dares to do

Gamzee: sUrE sIs lEtS gEt a mOtHeRfUcKiNg mOvE On

Crim: oh and Gamzee can you…

**The authoress whispers something to Gamzee and he nods before walking off somewhere **

Crim: alright prisone- I mean guests! Time to go and do some dares!

**They all groan but start to walk into the house anyway**

Crim: HEY KARKAT HOWS THE MURAL!

**Crim shouts **

Karkat: I JUST FUCKING FINISHED IT

Crim: GOOD!

**Everyone walks into the living room (minus Gamzee) to be met with a powerful stench **

Terezi: 44444H 1'M BL1ND 1'M BL1NDDD! :[

Equius: D- ugh what is this foul smelling stench

Aradia: it is making me feel dizzy

Nepeta: :33 h33h33 come on guys it's not that bad

Kanaya: *slightly drooling* yes on the contrary actually it's quite pleasant

**In the living room painted on the wall with everybody's blood were crooked people in different colours **

**Crim looks at the wall and seems unfazed at the putrid stench coming from it like nepeta and Kanaya **

**Freak **

Crim: says the talking voice who can now apparently smell

**Shoosh I'm special your just a freak **

Crim: riiiiiiiight anyways what the fuck karkat is that suppose to be

Karkat: OBVIOUSLY ITS EVERYONE NOOKSNIFFER

**You take a closer look to see that they just look like a bunch of scribbles with arms and legs, a similar drawing you usually find on your fridge that little children/wrigglers draw **

Kanaya: *huffing* what a waste of good blood

Crim: Karkat they look like walking potatoes

Karkat: SHUT IT YOU TRY FUCKING PAINTING IN THIS SMELL

Karkat: AND THEY LOOK FUCKING FINE

Crim: yeahhh I think even I could do better than that

Dave: cut him some slack Crim I think it's ironic

Karkat: THANK YOU DAVE

Dave: ironically bad that is

Karkat: FUCK YOU STRIDER

Terezi: H4H4H4H4H4 YOU GO D4V3

**They high-five **

Crim: ok karkat go take a shower

Crim: everybody else lets do the dares outside for a change

John: *holding nose* wait your not cleaning this off?

Crim: it has to stay on for an entire chapter

Jane: oh just great! How will I be able to do any desserts?

Crim: we'll find a way come on karkat we'll wait for you outside

**Everybody leaves and continues their game of magical rugby or whatever you want to call that mess for another 10 minutes until you hear a yell **

Karkat: EGDERP I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!

John: hahahaha

**John starts to burst out laughing **

Crim: *sigh* what did you do?

John: I might of dyed all of his clothes pink

Crim: pffft hahahaha o-oh my god your the best John

**Karkat suddenly walks out with pink shirt and a frilly skirt instead of his usual black clothing **

Karkat: EGDERP WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY PANTS

John: oh and I asked Kanaya to lend me a skirt

kanaya: I found the request quite odd but I gave it to him anyway now I know why he asked

Karkat: IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU

**Everybody starts to laugh at the pink skirt wearing Karkat **

**Crim and John high five **

Crim: how'd you manage to turn his clothes pink?

John: a master prankster never reals his pranks

Crim: well 'master prankster' you better start running cause frilly looks mad

John: shit ABSCOND!

**John yells and flys away from the shouting Karkat who runs after him **

Karkat: YOU BETTER FUCKING ABSCOND EGDERP ILL MAKE YOU PAY

**After 10 more minutes everybody starts to calm down and sit in a circle **

**mysteriously Kanaya has seemed to disappear **

**John sits in front of Crim and it seems he is forming a nice bluish/purple bruise around his right eye **

Crim: he got you?

John: …

***Cough cough* **

Crim: anyway now that we've settled

**HSFanFrench**

**OH GOG FIRST TIME I'M DOING A TRUTH OR DARE FIC IT'S AWESOME!_**

**KARKAT(DARE): HEY KARKAT YOUR MY BOSS TROLL AND ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS / **

**SO FOR YOUR DARE YOU MUST SINGING "KARKAT: BE A FANBOY" 'CAUSE I REALLY LOVE YOUR BROADWAY SONGS! **

**GAMZEE AND TAVROS(DARE): HEY BROS, DO A FRENCH KISS FOR FIVE MINUTES! **

**ERIDAN AND SOLLUX: GO IN A CLOSET AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT FOR TEN MINUTES! **

**TO EVERYONE(DARE): WHATCH ALL "KILL LA KILL" EPISODES AND TELL WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT!**

**(SORRY FOR MY ENGLISH I'M FRENCH)**

Crim: aww thnx I'm happy you enjoy this

Crim: so I guess I'll just break the rules this once! ONLY THIS ONCE since theirs not suppose to be any singing dares but…

Crim: Karkat your up

Karkat: I'M NOT FUCKING DOING IT

Crim: she says your her favouriiiiite karkat

Crim: AND she even tried to write english just to ask you

**(Which was great you don't need to say sorry) **

Crim: plus I promise I'll get you new clothes if you do the dare

Karkat: …FUCK FINE ALRIGHT

**Crim looks up the lyrics on her laptop and hits play**

**Fuck! That is the last time I ever host **

**someone's wriggling day party at my place**

**I'm gonna be cleaning up after Egbert and**

**All his ilk until my eleventh sweep at this rate!**

**Ugh. What are we even friends anyway!**

**Right. His taste in movies. Well this huge **

**pile of DVDs isn't going to clean itself**

**Up I might as well make this somewhat**

**Enjoyable **

**She's the Man, The Rebound, Hitch and **

**Miss Congeniality, this is just the tip of **

**the iceberg that's my menagerie**

**The wedding Singer. **

**Groundhog Day. The princess Bride, love**

**Actually Titanic, Juno, Knocked Up,**

**She's All That, Coyote Ugly**

** /**

**When I was just a wriggler, my **

**Lusus often preached to be a**

**skilled entrepreneur, five figures**

**Must be reached and whether **

**One's collection is of stamps or **

**coins or dolls if you're a true **

**enthusiast, you have to buy them**

**all! **

** /**

**13 going on 30, What's your number?,**

**Mamma Mia! Four Weddings and A **

**Funeral is something you should see **

**Along Came Polly, Wedding Crashers, **

**Something's Gotta Give, The Cutting **

**Edge, My Best Friend's Wedding,**

**Sweet home, Alabama **

**This ones one of my all-time favourites! **

**In which the Main Protagonist sits idly **

**till one day he finds himself head over **

**Heels for RedRom Interest A**

**But RedRom Interest A is flushing for**

**her Kismesis Whose Auspicticious**

**Moirail is the Main Protagonist!**

**(Oh!) **

**Monster-In-Law, One Fine Day,**

**The 40-Year-Old-Virgin, **

**Definitely Maybe, Win A Date **

**With Tad Hamilton **

**How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days, **

**Leap Year, The Proposal, Did You **

**Hear About The Morgans?, Kate**

**and Leopoid **

**Of course, I'm also rather partial to, **

**"In Which The Hero Finds Himself**

**Forced To Make A Big Decision **

**About Whether Or Not He Can **

**Commit To His Matesprit**

**Meanwhile, His Kismesis Has Been **

**Putting The Moves On His Moirail **

**And No One's Really Sure How To **

**Feel About That **

**But Then There's A Dual To The Death **

**Over The Hero's Remaining Quadrants **

**And His Matesprit Is Mortally Wounded **

**And Her Dying Wish Is- **

**AHEM. **

**I mean…**

**So when it comes to romance look**

**no further than this troll! This genre **

**is my expertise and I am on a roll! **

**In fact, I think we all could benefit **

**from my advice!**

**For example,**

**Eridan and Sollux watched **

**Pirates of the Caribbean **

**together last weekend **

**And gave each other matching **

**black eyes, THRICE. **

**And that's not even a hatedate**

**movie… **

**BUT THESE ARE! **

**Nick And Norah's Infinite Platlist,**

**My Big Fat Greek Wedding, **

**Six Days Seven Nights, Never **

**Been Kissed, While You Were **

**Sleeping **

**10 Things I Hate About You, A**

**Cinderella Story, She's The Man,**

**The Rebound, Hitch and Miss **

**Congeniality **

**She's The Man, The Rebound,**

**Hitch and Miss Congeniality **

**Everybody stares open-mouthed except for the striders and Crim who were smirking **

Crim: soooooooo it seems you have been practicing ehhh?

**Karkat's face blooms a cherry red across his cheeks **

Karkat: SHUT THE FUCK UP I DONT PRACTICE ANYTHING

nepeta: :33 actually sometimes I hear him singing in the shower

**Everyone starts laughing and even Dirk cracks a semi smile at that comment **

Equius: D- Nepeta

Nepeta: :33 h33h33 oops

Crim: hehehe *wipes a tear* that was fun

Karkat: NOW GET ME FUCKING CLOTHES

Crim: I never said I would get them straight away dumbass

Karkat: WHAT!? FUUUUUUU-

Crim: ok Tavros and Gamz have to French kiss but two problems

Crim: one. Gamzee isn't here

Crim: two. Trolls don't know what French kissing is

Rose: solution one. Gamzee already appears to be here

Rose: two. They are already engaging in sloppy make outs

**You look at the corner to find yet again another horn pile with Gamzee and Tavros indeed making out on top of it (how the fuck does he make horn piles without making noise?!) **

Crim: …well uh ok then

Crim: Sollux. Eridan. Closet. Ten minutes. Now

**Crim only points to the shed at the back that was obviously there this entire time **

**The trolls get up and walk to the shed without complaints even holding hands **

Nepeta: :33 another ship has sailed!

**Nepeta happily salutes to the couple grinning a Cheshire grin **

Crim: Hehe remember it's only for 10 minutessss

**Crim laughs **

**Eridan turns his head and glares at Crim with purple cheeks getting her joke **

Crim: right everyone gather round we all have been dared to watch something …

**Over like a few hours later**

Crim: I…I just have no words for this

Jade: the animators were perverted

Feferi: v-Ery 38(

Terezi: WH4T H4PP3N3D :?

Equius: D- such 100d outfits should be banned

Nepeta: :33 *AC grabs a towel fur her sweaty moirail offuring it to him*

Equius: D- thank you Nepeta

Crim: let's just…lets just get this over with John?

John: uh ummm I like the theme songs?

Rose: insulting

Jade: very perverted

Dave: ironic script

Crim: really?

Jane: made me feel quite uncomfortable

Roxy: *hic* yea what janey saish

Roxy: *said

Jake: I guess I do quite admire the weaponry

Dirk: awesome

Crim: it's ok…if you ignore what they wear

Aradia: I left when I realised they were speaking another language

Tavros: iT WAS A BIT UM,, sCARY

Sollux: I like the animation

Nepeta: :33 I was taking care of Equius

Kanaya: the colours on the clothing were quite colourful

Terezi: 1 DON'T KNOW 1 C4N'T S33

Vriska: boriiiiiiiing

Equius: e%ceptionally 100d

Gamzee: I wAsNt PaYiNg mOtHeRfUcKiNg AtTeNtIoN

Eridan: it wwasn't that bad…

Feferi: I didn't lik-E it

Crim: okay now let's pretend we never watched that and move on

**Everyone gladly nods**

Dirk: I'm not promising anything

Crim: here people pass it round

**Everyone puts earmuffs in just as the booming song begins **

**musicalBlink **

**Awesome. I get a theme song. But... Can it be the Emily Browning version instead? It's my favorite song. Iv actually been listening to it this entire time. XD**

**So... I was reading through the reviews, and I saw that a guest reviewer thought we should leave kitkat alone and get more variety in on who's being dared... The guest said Eridan hasn't even been mentioned. ;)**

**Kanaya must bedazzle every inch of Eridan's scarf and cape. Then, she must coat the horrid, bedazzled thing with rainbow sparkles.**

**Then she must return it to him. We can watch the bitch fight**

**ensue. :)**

**Everyone take the earmuffs off **

Crim: actually speaking of which…

Eridan: wwhere the fuck is my cape? And my scarf!?

Kanaya: right here Crimson asked Gamzee to ask me to fix your cape so I did

**Crim shows a thumbs up to Gamzee who he happily returns **

Eridan: howw the fuck did you get my cape and scarf

Kanaya: from Gamzee. Now here I made a few improvements

**Kanaya hands him a purple bedazzled rainbow covered cape with a matching scarf **

Crim: it looks like a unicorn threw up on it

Eridan: wwhat the fuck did you do Kan!

Kanaya: I merely did a dare I was told to besides it looks much better now

**Kanaya smirks at the raging Eridan **

Eridan: do you knoww how precious these items are!? They are made from the finest silk Alternia can offer that's worth more than your life and you just DARE to turn it into a monstrosity you call fashion!?

Kanaya: monstrosity you say I don't understand it was like that before I touched it

Eridan: wwhat!

**Eridan suddenly pulls out his science wand and Kanaya grabs her chainsaw **

**Crim simply shakes her head **

Feferi: oh no 38(

**The two nearly slice each other when their weapon flies out of their hands into a mini cyclone **

Crim: enough I don't want to clean anymore blood than I have to

Roxy: hey aweosime you can *hic* do the voidy thang to?

Roxy*thing

Crim: yep most void players can

Roxy: yea gurl

Crim: now have the two of you calm down?

**They say nothing because they are still running towards each and start hitting each other they roll and kick, scratch, bite and pull each other's hair while barreling insults **

Crim: *sigh* let them be

**Crim sees Nepeta at the with black chalk in her hands **

**Guest413**

**Hello. First I Would Like To Say That Feferi Should Not Have Been Put Through Such Cannibalism (She Is Part Fish So She Was Eating Her Own Kind). Now To The Dares.**

**Karkat: Slap Anyone In The Room Who You Want To Slap (No Limit On The Amount Of People/Trolls)**

**Everyone: Listen To The Song "Horoscope For Today" To Know Your Inevitable Futures! :]**

**Authoress: Summon Kankri And Lock Him In A Room With His Worst Enemy. Then, Trigger Him Somehow And Be Ready For What Comes.**

**That Is All For Now. Good Bye!**

Crim: oh no

Karkat: YES FINALLY FINALLY A GOOD DARE

CRIM: *sigh* get it over with

**Karkat happily (or as happy as he can be) goes around the circle and slaps Sollux twice, Eridan three times, John one extra hard, Dave two extra hard ones, Vriska, Equius, Gamzee and even Nepeta one but seems a bit less hard on her than the rest though tears still start to form around her eyes from the sting and Equius growls making him move faster until he reaches Crim **

**Crim braces for the impact across her face but gets less of a slap than she expects **

**She opens her eyes to see Karkat walking away face red and avoiding Terezi's eyes (not that she can see) **

**Crim spots Nepeta crying in Equius's arm trying to muffle the noise in his shirt while Equius glares at Karkat **

Crim: *cough cough* anyway gather round everyone it's time to see your horoscope

**A few minutes later **

Crim: hey hey calm down everyone! It's just a video it doesn't mean it's true!

**The authoress finally grabs the attention of the crying some petrified trolls a few were traumatised **

Crim: geez this is just a video someone made up for fun so chillax!

**Slowly everyone sits back down in a circle and the Authoress takes the opportunity to grab Nepeta and make her sit down beside her**

**She looks at Crim but says nothing **

Crim: alright people it's time for all of us to suffer

**Crim says miserably and walks inside **

**Everyone follows holding their breath and walk into the appearify room where they see her set coordinates and walk back towards the group **

**Suddenly there's a flash of white light and a groan **

Crim: hi Kankri

Kankri: I demand t9 kn9w where exactly I am d9 y9u kn9w h9w triggering it is t9 suddenly disappear fr9m a current l9cati9n then reappear t9 find a stranger greet y9u 6lah 6lah 6lah 6lah 6lah

**Suddenly another white light appears and out goes Meenah **

Meenah: wh-er-e th-e glubbing h-ell am I?

Kankri: 9h Meenah it seems y9u have 6een transp9rted here as well n9w I h9pe this d9esn't trigger y9u 6ut 6lah 6lah 6lah

Crim: move move!

**Crim runs out the door and after everyone leaves she shuts the door **

Meenah: wait th-e anglin s-ec don't l-eav-e m-e h-er-e!

Kankri: n9w Meenah it is very triggering f9r n9t t9 listen…

Meenah: gahhhh!

**After a few minutes crim hesitantly opens the floor to see Kankri on the floor and a portal open **

Crim: seems Meenah got sick of him and decided to go back

**The portal closes **

Crim: no wait take him too!

Crim: *sigh* oh well I still gotta do the next part

**Crim appearifys a glass of water and dumps it on kankri **

Kankri: 6lahhh y9u d9 y9u kn9w h9w triggering it can 6e to suddenly be waken espically if y9u are triggered 6y water h9w are y9u-

Crim: Kankri it's very triggering to not let me introduce myself

Kankri's eyes widen and shuts his mouth

Kankri: 9h well I supp9se that is true I ap9l9gize

Karkat: oh my god WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MAKE HIM FUCKING STOP

**Kankri opens his mouth to speak but Crim interrupts **

Crim: I'm Crim and I'm the hostess for a game of truth or dare you will now be playing now please I am asking you to not talk until next chapter as you might accidentally trigger me with your words as you do not know what could triggers me yet

**Kankri nods and keeps his mouth shut**

Karkat:YOU ARE THE TRUE GOG WHO CAN SILENCE THE UNSILENCEABLE

Crim: haha alright hurry up let's finish these dares for today

Crim: does anyone have a coin?

Rose: yes hear you go

Crim: thanks let's go

**Everyone returns outside and sits down Crim reads out the dare **

**Karnepfurrever**

**Can you play a coin toss heads karkat has to kiss nepeata and tails his kisses chim**

Crim: okay heads Nepeta Tails for me

**Crim allows Tavros to flip the coin **

**It lands on his palm and he opens his hand **

**It's tails **

**Nepeta looks so crestfallen she looks about ready to cry right there but sees Crim and tries to smile the best she can breaking her heart in the process **

Crim: it's tails

Karkat: yea

**Karkat's face is red and Crim looks at Nepeta one more time than suddenly smiles **

Crim: well I guess Nepeta has to kiss Karkat

Karkat/Nepeta: huh!?

Crim: well yea I looked at the dare again and it says Chim not Crim and I don't know any Chim's here

**Karkat's face drops a bit and Nepeta squeals**

**She quickly runs over to Karkat and pecks him on the lips **

**Her face turns olive green and everyone aww's **

**She runs to Crim and tackle-pounces her **

Nepeta: :33 *whispering* thankyouthankyouthankyou

**Crim laughs **

Crim: your welcome

**She pats the troll on the head and gets up **

Crim: now one more dare to go

**GoggleHeadOtaku**

**Th3 us3rnam3 th1ng 1s f1n3, 1t was just w31rd r3ad1ng 1t as googl3. Don't d1ss th3 k1tt3ns sp1d3rb1tch. Th3y ar3 fuck1ng adorabl3 and w3 alllllll know 1t. 1 dar3 Cr1m to mag1cally coat 3v3ryon3's cloth3s w1th sup3rglu3(lasts for on3 chapt3r) and st1ck p3opl3 tog3th3r to form any sh1ps you want! **

Vriska: I swear that bitch is asking for it it's suppose to be allllllll not 7 8! 8! 8! 8!

Crim: calm down Vris

Crim: this is going to be fun

**Crim snaps her hands and suddenly a wave of glue gets everyone (excluding Kankri and Crim) **

**She pushes Equius and Aradia together, Vriska and John, Tavros and Gamzee, Roxy and Dirk, Jane and Jake, Kanaya and Rose, Terezi, Dave and Jade, Sollux, Eridan and Feferi and Karkat with Nepeta**

**(I also ship Jade with Dave and Feferi with Sollux and I didn't want them alone soooo) **

**Crim sighs **

Crim: my OTP is complete muhahahaha

Vriska: what the fuck!?

Jade: hey we're stuck!

Crim: yep I stuck you guys together

Crim: yelp that's all the dares for today you guys have to help me clean the living room

**There's a series of groans **

Crim: move it people move it!

Nepeta: :33 hehe

**Nepeta starts to walk in front of Crim happily and accidentally trips on karkat's feet **

Karkat: FUUUU-

Crim: oh boy

**And that's the end of today's chapter hope you guys enjoyed and to say sorry for delaying this with my laziness I give you an extra long chapter enjoy :33**


	7. It's so cold here

**Chapter 7 **

**Yup guys another chapter and it starts in 3…2…1 **

**It's the middle of the night, outside is a starless sky and feels like it's around -3 degrees, you quickly go inside where a roaring fire is lit in a fireplace downstairs, you go upstairs and pass a wallless room and you remember the event from a few days ago**

**You go inside the room at the end of the hallway and you see… **

**an 8 cue ball bed sheet cover king bed where two trolls and two kids lay together asleep **

**Terezi, Vriska, Crim and Jade were all snuggled up tight together trying to keep warm **

Crim: Mmhhnm *mumbling* Jade your ears tickling me

**In response she snuggles closer**

Vriska: *half grumbling* stop moving…zzz

**You see the Authoress in the middle of the pile with Jade on top of her arm making it useless and is hugging her, you see her ears moving a bit every now and then tickling the Authoress's nose **

**Next Terezi is higher up, her stomach eye level to Crim's ear, all curled up and gnawing on her head grinning and occasionally laughing quietly unfortunately leaving a few trails of saliva in her head in the process which makes Crim frown in her sleep **

**Finally the last troll who originally was sleeping the farthest because she didn't want to sleep close to anyone currently had her head leaning on Crim's stomach and a leg over hers like Jade**

**As a result Crim was busy being completely immobile and being crushed by the girls weight though she was still fast asleep**

**You were about to leave when you hear the door creak open and light pour in **

Equius: D- I find this %ceptionally rude why must we break in here?

Kankri: d9 y9u kn9w h9w triggering it can 6e t9 enter someone's r99m with9ut permissi9n-

Karkat: *whisper yelling* shut up fuckass and get in

**The trigger happy troll reluctantly steps in **

Tavros: W…why are UM,,, we here?

Sollux: beecau2e we are goiing to 2how tho2e giirls not to me22 wiith u2

Dirk: so we're pranking them?

Sollux: biingo

Eridan: so wwhy do wwe havve to be up

Sollux: beecau2e we need everyone for iit to work

John: ok so what are we doing?

Sollux: alriight guy2 huddle up

**The boys all huddle up and start snickering even Tavros and Kankri decide (are forced) to join their little prank**

**You have a feeling this is going to be a loooooong night **

**It's early morning when you hear screams **

Vriska: wh8t the f8ck!?

Jade: grrrrrrrr

Terezi: UH J4D3 WHY AR3 YOU SMELL1NG L1K3 YOU W4NT TO CH4S3 M3?

Crim: I am going to KILL the wise guys who done this

**You see Jade chase after a confused and frightened Terezi who was dressed up with a pair of neko cat ears and tails with black whiskers and a pink nose painted on her**

Terezi: WH4T 1S ON M3?

Jade: woof woof!

**Vriska was wearing a pair of pink shorts and a orange singlet (which happen to be Vriska's most hated colours) that had 7 cue balls printed all over them **

Vriska: aaaaaaah! N8t 7's not 7's! And or7ange and p7nk! bl7rgh where are my black sh7rts and 8 cue b7ll pj's?

**Vriska was frantically running around to find any clothing that wasn't covered in 7's or orange/pink **

**You look at a raging Crim who woke up surround by pink walls with pink bed sheet covers that have little unicorns covered on them **

**She gets up and checks herself on her mirror, she nearly screams **

**Makeup covered her face to make it look like a clown (like gamzee's face paint or does he use makeup? Wait what?) and her hair is tied up in lopsided pigtails with little pink ribbons tied at the end **

**She looks at her arms to see scribbles of random shit drawn on them with different colour markers **

**This time she did scream **

Crim: WHEN I FUCKING GET MY HANDS ON WHOEVER DID THIS THEY WILL REGRET EVER ENTERING OUR ROOM!

**Crim walks out of her room and spots the guys snickering before shutting their bedroom door **

**Crim pops her head back into the room **

Crim: hey guys seems like we have a couple of pranksters who need to be taught a lesson

**They look at her then nod **

Crim: ooooooooh boys~

Jade: come out we have something to show you guys~

Terezi: H3H3H3H3H3 Y34 COM3 ON OUT

**When no response comes Crim sighs and snaps her fingers **

**and let's just say when they went in their rooms they were taught a lesson they will most likely not forget **

**After 10 minutes of showering the authoress goes downstairs with a towel under her wet hair and fresh clothes on **

Crim: any of you guys seen my laptop? I left it charging in my room and I can't find it

**The bloody and bruised boys suddenly pale and keep quiet**

**In a deathly low voice crim says**

Crim:…guys what did you do to my laptop?

Jake: well you see uh…

Gamzee: wE mOtHeRfUcKiNg dRoPpEd iT aNd It bRoKe

**You can feel the air snap around Crim **

Crim: …what? What did you just say

Crim: please TELL me he's lying PLEASE

Eridan: wwell obvviously

**a sigh of relief escapes Crim **

Eridan: wwe also dropped it in wwater

Gamzee: yEaH tHe SpArKs wErE FuLl oF mIrAcLeS

**You see Dirk smack the fish behind the head **

Crim: I am going to KILL YOU ALL WITH MY BARE HANDS

**Crim was about to lunge at the closest troll (Karkat) to her when she stopped and smiled calmly**

BC: woah chilllllax sister

**Crim suddenly changes, her brown hair turns black and eyes green, her tanned skin changes to a pale white and her teeth grow a bit smaller and sharper **

BC: seems like you reallllly pissed off my sis there so ima gonna take over a bit

**Everybody is frozen in shock at their hostess new appearance**

BC:'don't you knowwwww it's rude to stare?

**Everyone looks down and Rose asks**

Rose: may I ask, who you are?

BC: well Crim calls me black crimson as I'm supposedly her 'dark half' but you can call me BC

**Dave raises an eyebrow **

Dave: you're the dark half?

BC: yup now let's get to work I'm boreddddd

**A paper flies down with today's dares **

BC: awesome thanks voice

**You are still freaked out by the new Crim but say welcome anyway **

**BC sees Karkat and sits on his lap making him blush, her smile and Nepeta growl **

Karkat: UH-UM WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING

BC: sitting on your lap problem?

Karkat: N-NO

BC: good now don't yell in my ear

Kankri: 6C was it? I d9 not think it is appr9priate f9r y9u t9 sit 9n s9me9ne's lap it c9uld trigger-

BC: oh hushhhhh Kankri your just jealous that your not the Vantas I'm sitting on

**Kankri blushes and sputters **

Kankri: w-w-what!? I reassure y9u that's not-

BC: well then shoosh and let me read

**BC covers her ears and everyone does the same as the blasting song comes up **

**musicalBlink**

**I dare Sollux to repeatedly say sassafras until he can say it without lisping. He cannot get any help at all from anyone in any form. **

**And, I'm really bored so here's a second dare! :) I dare Terezi to lick all of the blood off of the walls from where Karkat painted his ironically bad mural.**

**BC grins evilly **

BC: bit weak but not bad though I could dare muchhhhh better

BC: Sollux say sassafras without lisping

Sollux: 2a22a- 2a22afr- 222a- 222a22a ii thought ii was puniished enough

BC: no you weren't now don't stop until you say it without lisping thollux

BC laughs cruelly enjoying herself

Feferi: it's not funny 38(

BC: clam it fish breath

Feferi: glub 38(

BC: Terezi you have to lick all the blood off karkaaaaat's bad art

Karkat: IT- I mean it isn't bad!

**BC laughs and pats his head**

BC: haha sorry Karkat but yea it is, now Terezi go

Terezi: BUT W3 TOOK TH4T OFF Y3ST3RD4Y

**BC snaps her fingers **

BC: iiiii don't know what your talking about now go

**Terezi scrunches her nose but proceeds as she doesn't want to feel the wrath of the Lego **

**Terezi licks experimentally and has a BL4H moment **

BC: you have to make it spotless

Jane: your mean

BC: I'm doing dares

Jane: at least Crim was kinder to us

BC: well suck it up I'm hosting right now don't like it? why don't you take a fall down the void then

**Jane looks down **

BC: anywayyyyy

**psYchOtic Summoner **

BC: I'm liking her already

**psYchOtic Summoner **

**Kekekekekekekes, where do I begin?**

**Dave: Have Apple juice. Half gallon**

**Sollux: Tell us what happened in the closet with Eri *wink wonk***

**Jake, Dirk, Eridan, Sollux: Fanservice, go!**

**Crim: will you make them strip to their underwear and do Gangnam style if they don't?**

**Suddenly a portal opens and half a gallon of Apple juice pops out **

**Dave immediately runs for the Aj but BC gets up off Karkat and got to it first **

BC: nah ah you miiiiight get some later but for now I'll hold onto it

Dave: sis no give me the Aj. Now I need that man hadn't had one for ages

BC: damn your right! I haven't either

**BC opens the Aj bottle and drinks nearly all of it **

BC: well the reviewer never said he could have it all hahaha

**Dave loses his cool and lunges for the remaining Aj but BC flash steps back onto Karkat's lap surprising them both **

Dave: what the?

Karkat: WOAH FUCK YOU SCARED ME

**BC just giggles and kisses Karkat on the cheek **

**Nepeta hisses **

BC: something wrong Nepeta?

**BC hides a smirk and puts an innocent face on **

BC: if you have something to say then sayyyyy it

Nepeta: :(( *n-no AC says slowly and hangs her head*

BC: hehe I just find roleplaying so stupid only for girls and trolls who can't get their feelings out

**They all gasp a little and look at Nepeta who has tears in her eyes and Equius says in a low voice **

Equius: D- it's alright Nepeta remember she isn't your same frie- I mean furrend

**Equius blushes the last bit and Nepeta smiles tearfully **

Nepeta: :33 yeah that's right thanks Eqkitty

**Inside BC you hear Crim squeal making BC roll her eyes **

BC: ugh let's move on

BC: I'm sure Sollux would lovvvvve to tell all of us what happened in the closet with Eridan but I think he's currently occupied

Sollux: 222222a- 2a2afr- fucccccck

BC: Jake, Dirk, Eridan and Sollux fanservice. Now

4Boys: oh hell no

BC: than you have to strip to you underwear and do gangnam style

**The boys look at each other then strip earning blushes from the girls and a raised eyebrow from BC **

BC: really Dirk? My little pony?

Dirk: don't judge the boxers man their cool

**BC snaps her fingers and gangnam style plays **

**The boys immediately dance and after a few moments the lisp king and fishdick do it too **

**Everyone was laughing the entire time **

BC: okayokayokayokay haha lets move on before I bruise a lung

**GoggleHeadOtaku**

**1 drag out my words by 7 l3tt3rs on purpos3 b3caus3 7s ar3 cool and 1t annoys Vr1ska. 1 dar3 N3p3ta to borrow all of th3 k1tt3ns, put th3m on Karkat wh1l3 h3's asl33p(w1thout wak1ng h1m up), and th3n go to sl33p n3xt to h1m 1n a g1ant p1l3 of k1tty cut3n3ss. **

**BC reads the first sentence and laughs **

BC: you got right

**She proceeds to read and her expression darkens while Nepeta's brightens, reading over her shoulder **

Nepeta: *:33 come on BC you have to do it it's a dare says AC smugly*

**BC snaps her fingers and Karkat slumps on her shoulder**

BC: sorry Karkat

**Karkat is taken upstairs (via Sollux's telekinesis thingy) and is placed in Nepeta's room while Nepeta goes to the cat room (an extra room that was made for the kittens home) and got them all, when she came back she laid down next to Karkat and let the kitties go **

**Nepeta looks at you smirking and BC hisses at her and she does the same back **

**BC slams the door shut and mutters in her head **

BC: I hate her

Crim: don't be such a bitch that was fucking adorable

**BC only grins and says before going downstairs **

BC: haven't you realised yet sis? Being a bitch is in my blood

**BC sits down and reads the last dare for today, she spots Terezi throwing up in a corner **

**Vriskaxmeenah**

**Hello. just wanted to say u are an amazing author.**

**umm if u want I have a few dares in mind.**

**Equis (dare): seven minutes in heaven with aradia**

**Kanaya (truth): would u ever wear stripes with sequins (idk im just trying to think fashionably)**

**Vriska (dare): I dare u to watch the MEP for Homewrecker by MockingJamie, and then tell us your thoughts on it**

**Crim (truth): if karkat was female would u turn for him?**

**Before Equius can protest BC manages to push him into the closet with Aradia and set a timer **

BC: I've set the timer~

BC: oooooh a truth haven't had that in aggggges! Now Kanaya would you

Kanaya: well I certainly have thought of designing something along those lines but I never thought of wearing one myself

Kanaya: I would have to think about that next time thank you for the fashion question

BC: we'll do that one for next chapter since we have nothing to watch it on

BC: well since Crim is currently 'away' I'll answer that instead and my answer would be…

BC: yes I'm pretty sure I would actually I mean it's Karkat! I know I would not sure 'bout Crim though

BC: *yawn* I'm tired ima gonna go take a nap and do the rest laterrrrr so do whatever you guys usually do when we're done

BC: come on shooooo

Feferi: wait what about E-quius and Aradia 38?

BC: oh yea well-

Tavros: And uh,,,, Nepeta and um,, Karkat?

**BC immediately runs upstairs ditching Equius and Aradia altogether**

BC: TIME'S UP KITTY!

**BC manages to shoo you away before running up those stairs because you have no purpose now! How dare she you think but it's too late now you can already see the end of the page indicating the story's over *sigh* you guess you will just sit and wait for another chapter again…whenever that'll be…hopefully soon… yeah **

**As you all can see I have finally introduced Crim's other personality BC muhahahaha so yea I've decided to try and include her more so I guess you can truth and dare her shit too? Idk up to you so yeah just quick things about her **

**~she's the opposite of Crim **

**~she's cruel, a sadistic,mean and she's really honest (bit too much) **

**~ she's also very open and won't try to hide her feelings that's why she didn't give a shit and sat on Karkat's lap even though we all know Crim wouldn't do that out of the blue **

**~she fights for what she wants no matter what**

**~she ships weird and non-canon pairings **

**~ and she hates nepeta **

**~yep truly opposite **

**And I think that's it also- oh! Look a review button!**


	8. Authors note

**Authors note: **

hey there sorry all to have been recently reading this fanfic for some reason got deleted from my stories but luckily I was able to find it in my documents and re-post it unfortunately the reviews had been deleted as well so i am unable to post any new chapters until then so I'm sorry for the malfunction and I'll be waiting for new truth or dares to come

until then enjoy

XblackcrimsonsunX


	9. Chapter 9 huge chapter! Part 1

**Chapter 8 **

**Alright alright here comes the excuses **

**1. Family problems **

**2. My ipad confiscated **

**3. Laziness **

**Now that that's out of the way…**

**It's currently around midday and everyone seems to be enjoying a picnic lunch in an unknown green patchy area where hills and lakes surround them including trees and a playground that seems kids used to play on a long time ago **

Crim: it's called a park dumbass

**Oh yea that's right**

Crim: you really need to get your ass off the laptop once in a while

**Says Crim while rolling her eyes**

Crim: your not gonna start that shit again right?

**Crim says annoyance laced in her words **

Crim: nope! We are not starting that shit

**Crim denies **

**You decide to break character for a moment **

**'You know who' are being assholes again **

Crim: don't tell me they still haven't leaved us alone yet

BC: don't they have lives

**Crim groans and BC sneers **

**Apparently not and we have to suffer for that**

Crim: *sigh* fuck it come on let's get this story moving

**What about 'them' **

BC: don't wooooorry

**You trust their words and move on with the story**

**Everything continues as if that conversation never happened**

Tavros: This is Uhhhh,,, really good

Jane: why thank Tavros was it? Crim and I made them

**Jane looks over at Crim with a smile and she responds **

Crim: well you made it while I was busy setting half the kitchen on fire

**Crim puts a sour face on and Jane laughs**

Jane: Hoo Hoo now don't exaggerate you made those sandwiches didn't you?

Crim: that was because it was the only thing that didn't become charcoal

**Crim finishes and takes a bite out of her semi burnt sandwich **

Rose: oh I thought they were toasted

**Rose looks down at her roasted sandwich but continues to eat anyway**

Feferi: wh- en can w-e try your cupcak-es Jan-e 38?

Jane: right after lunch when everyone is finished

Karkat: THATS GREAT NOW CAN SOMEONE PASS ME THE FUCKING NAPKIN

Kankri: Karkat I kn9w y9u have a ha6it 6f yelling but c9uld y9u please try t6 c9nsider 9f h9w y9u are p9ssi6ly triggering pe9ple and tr9lls alike with y9ur l9ud v6ice and rude language futherm9re y9u sh9uld- 6lah 6lah 6lah 6lah

**It seems everyone had lost Kankri on ha6it and has continued eating **

Crim: here you go

Karkat: THANK YOU NOW CAN SOMEBODY SHUT THIS NOOKSNIFFER UP

Kankri: Karkat I have 6een trying t9 explain s6mething and it is very triggering-

BC: hey kankri why don't you try this sandwich

Kankri: thank y9u Crim or 6C is it? 6ut I was in the middle 9f having a c9nversati9n with my descendant here, futherm9re it seems y9u have taken a bite 9ut 9f the 9ne y9u are currently 9ffering which is very unhygienic th9ugh I h9pe I'm n9t triggering any 9ne 9f-

**Kankri continues ranting without a care and seems oblivious to the internal screaming happening inside Crim and BC **

**Crim shakes her head miserably while her right arm shoots out and practically shoves the sandwich down Kankri's throat **

Kankri: Crim! It is *cough hack* that y9u f9rcefully *nom chew* feed *cough nom* *chew swallow* …

**Kankri goes silent as he thoughtfully chews **

**when he finally swallows he waits a moment before asking **

Kankri: … d9 y9u perhaps have an9ther 9ne 9f th9se?

BC: we have a whole fucki-

Crim: *cough* I mean we made a full tray of those here

**Crim shoves the platter of tiny sandwiches into Kankri's hands and he asks **

Kankri: are y9u sure? s9me pe9ple might find it triggering that I have all these-

Crim: it's fine! Right guys

**Crim turns to them with a desperate look in her eyes and they quickly nod**

Eridan: yea it's fine I don't evven like those vvery much

Sollux: riight no one i2 goiing to eat them 2o no poiint iin wastiing iit

Nepeta: :33 yep!

**Crim turns her head back to Kankri and smiles **

Crim: see now go ahead dig in

Kankri: well… alright if y9u all say s9…tigger warnings include 6ut n9t limit t9 #greediness #lack 9f c9mmunicati9n #possible stomach ache

**Kankri finishes and starts to bite into the small triangles **

Dave: dude what did you put in there

Crim: peanut butter

Terezi: 1 THOUGHT 1 SM3LL3D SOMETH1NG NUTTY

Dave: that's probably just you

Terezi: H3Y :[ 1 SM3LL L1K3 BLU3 R4SPB3RRY SLUSH13

Dave: your still nuts

Terezi: H3H3

Karkat: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW THIS

Crim: oh I did a little research

**Hehehehe**

Kanaya: well maybe now we will be able to enjoy a peaceful lunch

**Everyone sighs blissfully and start eating before a beeping sound is heard from Crim's phone **

Jade: welp that ended quickly

Jake: you can say that again

Jade: wel-

John: he didn't mean it seriously Jade

Roxy: wash does it *hic* say?

BC: oh they are some reviews coming in that Crim has been trying to avoooooid

Crim: I haven't been avoiding them just waiting for them to… pile up

**Crim try's to find an excuse of why she's been too lazy to check them **

Crim: hey! fine let's get started

Aradia: but what about lunch?

Crim: it can wait reviews are far more important

**Crim's stomach grumbles hungrily**

BC: thaaaaat's not what our stomachs saying

Crim: shoosh

**Crim snaps her fingers and the peaceful 'park' disappears and morphs into the mansion everyone has come to know of **

Jane: I'll go put the cupcakes and sandwiches in the fridge

Jake: by golly Jane do you need help carrying that?

Jane: well- uh um- you see…

Roxy: want me too help janey?

Jane: NO! I uh mean Jake's already helping me right?

Jake: sure am hand me the basket you take the blanket

Jane: sure!

John: I'm going to get a drink

Dave: AJ for me bro

**Everyone else walks to the living room and find a spot on the couch, floor and on the beanbags littered around the room **

**John, Jake and Jane come back with trays of drinks **

John: here Dave

Dave: thanks

**John sits in between Dave and Vriska on the couch **

**Jake and Jane finish going around offering drinks and go to sit on the floor **

Crim: alright let's begin

**The first dare is from Red-DarkTemptress it reads…**

**Gamzee: bury your self in a horn pike for two chapters Sollux: what happens if you eat mind honey? BC: tell nepeta what quadrant you/crim ship Nepeta and Equius in Karkat: wear a bucket on your head for three chapters AND…Dave: remove your shades or have smuppets glued to your clothes and walk across a floor covered in Legos barefoot…**

Crim: ok a whole jumble of truth and dares alike now let's begin…

Crim: Gamzee go sit in the corner

Gamzee: AwWwW wHaT dId I mOtHeRfUcKiNg Do ThIs tImE?

Crim: what? No your not in trouble you just have to go sit in the corner

Gamzee: tHaT's WhAt KaR sAiD

Karkat: I TOLD YOU TO SIT IN THE CORNER BECAUSE YOU TRIED TO PUT SOPER THE FUCKING FOOD

Gamzee: tHoUgHt iT wOuLd TaStE bEtTeR bRo :0(

Karkat: *SIGH* WE ARE NOT HAVING THIS DISCUSSION RIGHT FUCKING NOW

**Crim coughs loudly**

Crim: are you done?

Karkat: MMPH

Crim: good now Gamzee you are not in trouble you just have to sit in the corner

Gamzee: PrOmIsE?

Crim: promise now go

**Gamzee walks and sits in the living rooms's corner with a lazy smile and spaced out expression **

Crim: alright stay…right there

**Crim runs off to the appearify room and sets a bunch of horns to appear on Gamzee **

**Crim runs back in time to see the pile of horns fall on the stoned troll**

Gamzee: HONK! WoAh wHeRe DiD aLl ThEsE mIrAcUlOuS hOrNs CoMe FrOm?

Crim: sorry Gamz you have to stay in there for two chapters you fine?

Gamzee: ThAtS mOtHeRfUcKiNg FiNe

**Gamzee's voice comes out muffled and you can only see the top of Gamzee's horns sticking out of the pile **

Crim: hehe hang in there

Crim: now Sollux here's a question everybody has been dying to know

Crim: WHAT happens when you eat mind honey? Hmmm?

Sollux: you don't eat the miind honey you don't EVER eat the miind honey no matter what

Crim: but what happens if you do

Sollux: ii- ii lo2e control of everthiing and go ber2erk

Sollux: ii can't control my2elf anymore and ii hurt the people ii keep clo2e

Sollux:… iim 2orry AA ii really am ii diidn't mean iit

Aradia: it's ok Sollux I know you didn't have control it's not your fault

**Aradia shoots a glare Vriska's way before walking towards Sollux and giving him a hug **

Crim: there's a horns pile upstairs if you want to be alone for a bit

Aradia: thanks

**Aradia and Sollux walk upstairs**

**Crim coughs before continuing**

Crim: let's get that gloom Fest out of our heads with some shipping

**Nepeta who was drawing something with a pale pink chalk stops and perks up immediately**

Nepeta: :33 did I hear someone say shipurring

Crim: you heard correctly

Nepeta: :33 WHOOHOO! Finally something I'm good at h33h33 so so so what's the shipping question?

Crim: actually it's-

BC: a question for us about yooooou

**Nepeta takes a step back and hisses**

Nepeta: :33 I wasn't talking to you

BC: but the questions for me now hmmmmm… what quadrant do I ship you and Equius in…

Equius: D- e%use me?

Nepeta: :33 uh what you mean? we are pale fur each other

BC: sooooo? you still ship Aradia and Sollux for red and we know that ship sunk ages ago

Nepeta: :33 w-well that diffurrent

BC: how so?

Nepeta: :33 um uh

BC: exactly

Crim: enough my answer is I ship them pale I just find it so cute!

BC: *sigh* if I had to I would ship them red

Crim: I find that adorable too

Nepeta: :33 eeeeh?

**Nepeta goes green and Equius coughs**

Equius: D- I can assure you we are simply pale

Nepeta: :33 yep yep

**Nepeta walks over to Crim and whispers**

Nepeta: :33 he still has felines fur Aradia anyway

Crim: hehe a girl can ship can't she?

**Nepeta walks back over to Equius while clutching something in her pocket**

BC: let's move on shall we? All this shipping leaves a bad taste in my mouth

BC: ooooooh please let me say this one!

**Crim sighs but allows her dark half to take over**

BC: sorry Kitkat but this is too entertaining

Karkat: WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN

BC: you have been dared to put a bucket on your head for three chapterrrrrs

**By the time BC finishes dragging her sentence Karkat is already a flaming mess**

Karkat: AHA NO FUCKING WAY I REPEAT NO F-U-C-K-I-N-G WAY

BC: hahahaha you will have to face today's new punishment

Karkat: …WHAT IS IT

BC: well thanks to musicalBlink's help the new punishment is tooooo…

Eridan: can you stop dragging your fuckin sentences and just spit it out

BC: hmph fine… the new punishment is you have to be in your birthday suit for the rest of the chapter happy now fish face?

Karkat: WHAT THE EVERLASTING FUCK IS A BIRTHDAY SUIT?

Rose: *sigh* you know… your natural state?

Karkat: WHAT IS A STATE?

John: you know…bare?

Karkat: DIDNT YOU TELL ME A BEAR WAS ONE YOUR EARTH BEASTS?

Dave: dude seriously it's like in the raw?

Karkat: I DONT ROAR NEPETA FUCKING DOES THAT ENOUGH

**Nepeta giggles and swipes her hand up in a claw position**

Nepeta: :33 h33h33 roar!

Jade: oh for gods sake you have to be naked!

Karkat: …OH WHY DIDNT YOU JUST SAY THAT

**The kids facepalm simultaneously **

**Sollux snickers**

Sollux: 20 kar what wiill you choo2e

Karkat: I HAVE SAID THIS TO ALL YOU NOOKSUCKERS MORE THAN ONCE AND ILL FUCKING SAY IT AGAIN

Karkat: I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL

BC: soooooo?

Karkat: GIVE ME THE FUCKING BUCKET

BC: in the closet over there

Eridan: wwhy in the ever lovin fuck do you havve a bucket in a closet

BC: it's the cleaning supplies

Aradia: that's disturbing

**Before any of the humans explain *again* of how buckets were used in there world Karkat walks in with a bucket head **

Crim: wait! Wait! Nepeta pass me your chalk

Nepeta: :33 *AC passes the moss green chalk to her furrend Crimkitty in a confused manner*

**Crim runs over to Karkat (who kept bumping into the couch) and straightens him before assaulting the bucket on his head with the chalk **

Crim: aaaand there

**She steps away from her masterpiece and shows the group**

**On it she drew a blushing smiley face**

Crim: welp this is the longest time I've seen him smile

**Everyone tries to stop their giggling or snickering**

Karkat: CRIM WHAT DID YOU DO I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO FUCKING SEE BUT I CAN HEAR YOU FUCKERS

Crim: oh nothing special Karkat they are just being stupid

**Crim gives a wink and leads Karkat to a nearby beanbag**

Crim: okay finally our last dare from Red-darkTemptress is for Dave

Dave: finally dude thought people were forgetting bout us humans

Dave: though it's too hard to forget about this strider right here

Crim: okay okay big-shot your dare is to take your shades off or have smuppets glued to your clothes while walking across a room full of Lego

Crim: bare feet

**Everyone cringes not forgetting the wrath of the Lego**

Dave: …

Jade: Dave are you seriously considering?!

Dave: …

John: Dave just take your shades off

Dave: no way dude my eyes aren't natural

Jane: oh I'm sure their not that bad

Dave: yes they are

Dirk: dude I know what you feel bro but they are your friends I don't think they'll judge you

Dave: …

Dirk: bro I have weird ass eyes too so just take the shades off bro

Dave: …fine

**After that brother command Dave prepares to take his shades off**

**He holds them by the rim **

**And carefully…carefully takes…it…- **

BC: oh for crying out loud gimme that

**Before Dave takes the shades off BC snatches it from his face **

**Dave was temporally blinded before opening his eyes **

**The room gasped**

Dave: give me that.

**Dave quickly takes the shades back and puts it on**

Rose: I must say Dave your eye colour is… unique very interesting

Jade: your eyes are beautiful I don't know why you hide them

John: yea who cares if there red

**Terezi perks up**

Terezi: R3D? YOUR 3Y3S 4R3 R3D D4V3? COOL :]

Terezi: 1 W1SH 1 H4D R3D 3Y3S

Aradia: you do Terezi

Terezi: OH… TH31R ST1LL COOL

Crim: see now was that too hard?

Dave: don't you ever touch the shades again

Crim: BC did that

Dave: oh

Crim: but I suggested it

**Dave lunges to strangle her but she ducks away in time **

**Unfortunately (hehehehe) in Dave's miss his lands on top of Egbert and Crim trips on Karkat's foot **

John: uh… hi Dave

Dave: sup

John: mind getting off dude?

Dave: not really but fine

**Dave rolls off John**

Karkat: OW MY FOOT

Crim: Ow my face

**Crim rubs her nose sorely and BC takes the opportunity to tilt her slightly forward **

Karkat&Crim: OW

**In that moment she smacks her forehead on his bucket making a loud crash **

BC: hahahaha oh I couldn't pass that opportunity

Vriska: hahaha not bad

**The girls high five**

Karkat: NOT FUCKING FUNNY I THINK I'VE GONE DEAF

**The girls continue to laugh as if he hadn't said a thing**

Karkat: YOU JUST FUCKING WAIT

Crim: alright alright let's continue

**Crim cuts off the giggling and moves to the next review **

**The next dare from HSFanFrench reads…**

**You think "KILL LA KILL" is "very pervet" well… good thing I didn't dare you to watch "panty and stocking"! So for the truth and dare: **

**Karkat: yo boss troll you must dance the "Macarena"!XD, BC: your not allowed to hurt nepeta physically and emotionally for two chapters and you must summon Cronus!, Kankri: when Cronus will be here go in the closet with him and do a seven minutes in heaven n/n**

Crim: no worries HSFanFrench were fine no need to dare us that!

Crim: yo Karkat! Do the Macarena!

Karkat: HOW ABOUT UH FUCK NO?

John: aww come on Karkat it's easy I'll teach you!

Jade: let me help!

**Together they stand between Karkat and Crim starts the music full blast**

Karkat: UH LIKE THIS?

Jade: yeah that's it!

John: keep going!

Nepeta: :33 that looks like fun! Come on Equius do it with me!

Equius: D- uh Nepeta I do not feel comfortable doin-

Nepeta: :33 oh come on!

**The pair join in besides Jade**

Nepeta: :33 come on Aradia join us this is fun!

Aradia: hmm alright

**Soon everyone joins in and the song comes to an end**

Crim: …well that happened

Crim: now BC you have been dared to be nice to Nepeta and I WONT LET YOU DO THE PUNISHMENT

Crim: YOU ARE IN MY BODY NO THANKS

BC: hmph fineeeeee

Nepeta: :33 haha!

**Nepeta sticks her tongue out and BC growls**

BC: just you wait the two chapters will be gone soon

Crim: oh and you have to summon Cronus

BC: NO you do it

Crim: sorry it's your dare

**Crim snickers and everyone moves upstairs**

**Will BC summon Cronus? Will kankri do the dare or lose his dignity? Find out in part two (next chapter) ;D**


End file.
